V3numb vs FAME (Round 1) FAME wins!

[IV]

V3numb vs FAME

House rules apply. Any questions, contact me.

Check ins are due Monday (March 5th) at 11.59PM EST
Verses are due Friday (March 9th) at 11.59PM EST

Line length; 20-60 lines
3-0 K.O or first to 5 votes

Your picture is from Dawn Of The Dead. Interpret your topic in any way you see fit!

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

[Naturill™]

checking in

[IV]

@V3numb check in by Monday at 11.59pm EST please or risk being replaced

[V3numb]

nike mark swagg.. (Check)

[IV]

@V3numb @NaturIll there will be an extension til 11.59PM on Sunday, please drop your verse by then

[FAME]

checking in and writing now... stay tuned.

---------- Post added 03-12-2012 at 12:40 AM ---------- Previous post was 03-11-2012 at 11:44 PM ----------

I've never done a topical before, So I thought I would battle the guy in the pic,
He's got his mouth wide open coz the faggot is dying for dick,
That queer should have thought about who he was trying to give head to,
Coz if he got on his knees in front of me, I would have put a machete in his head too,
He's got a look on his face that says he is tremendously amazed,
Either that, or, he's just shocked at how much of a twat he looks with ketchup on his face,
You know he aint loving camel toe, more like hugging massive blokes,
Coz no girl would touch him with his red lipstick and fuckin Jacko nose,
All day long he just chews sweets and gulps coke down,
That's why the ugly cunt only has two teeth in his whole mouth,
In case you were wondering, there's a reason his skin is so white and pale as fuck,
And it aint because he don't be catching rays of sun... He just bathes in cum,
There's an old tale that states "semen is good for you if you let it sink into your skin,"
Its obviously a farce though, as man still has some pimples on his chin,
And I know the garment he's wearing looks like a white tea towel, but coz the fucker bathes in cum,
I wouldn't be surprised if it was a hoodie made of spunk,
His mouth is permanently like that, it was caused by an accident from a dick tasting,
Faggots be warned, this is what happens when you put a penis in your mouth and the wind changes,
But I gotta feel sorry for him, having a knife in your skull has got to be stressful,
Although I guess he doesn't mind.... He's used to taking shots to the temple.

[V3numb]

~Walks slowly dragging machete~

*Screams of metal against concrete cry out in the moonlight*


its hard to grasp the evil within
mental disorders lose control yet its feeble to win
god cases judgement on all including.. people that sin..
sparks fly out as blades lighting the curb
the good in myself cant conquer to attain fighting the urge
kill pawns out front like ~lawn chess~ unity of a ~conscious~ that lack despiteing a merge..
freddy got nothing on this nightmare cause um slaying streets over Elm
overpower victims with strength when the weak overwhelm
they dead even if they head leaks holding a helm..
the dead dont speak when they skinned alive.. talk'in bout hides spoken
screem for forgivness when i rip jaws apart n they mouth wide open
i crush dreams and burst spleens its relative means to say they doubt yet tried hoping
the fire with'in isnt enough to warm the blade of my cold flame tips
laying a trail of corpses till my eternal foes are fainted
im in need of psychiatric help cause my nogin's soul is tainted
emotions explain senses of feelings and frowns share those
when i throw them face first into the wall and like coke addicts nostrils blood runs down their nose
before the spirits levitate their retinals gaze and lock eyes
looking me in the face shivering tazed with shocked surprise
im a dick u can say severing heads of birds.. its a shame they try to escape yet cocks dont fly
lifeless cases of body wraps as cart boys at work bag it
fighting myself to fight others when casualties are layed out tragic
wreaking of blood and death when evil fuels me is havoc
yet the way i make lives "disappear" is magic..








~keystyle~ (just to get it out for V x/ )

[IV]

Open for votes!! Thanks for both submitting and good luck!

[IV]

Thanks for both submitting, going to keep this short.

Voting Rubix

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - V3numb - Flowed better.
Vocabulary - V3numb - More vocab used.
Topic/Meaning - FAME - Unpredictable approach, controversial yet creative.
Storytelling/Progression - FAME - Think it progressed faster.
Emotion - Tie - Not much emotion used in either.
Imagery - FAME - Could picture his verse a lot better.
Poetic Techniques - Tie - Neither really used any poetic techniques (repetition, alliteration etc)
Ending - FAME - I just liked the comedy of it.

Overall MVGT - FAME - Tbh a lot of people are put off topical battles because they're always so depressing and predictable and deep etc, I just think that FAME bought a new approach to topical battling. By having a rap battle with the guy in the picture is was completely unexpected and original and bought comedy to the topical arena. It's all about creativity and I think that FAME made this his battle. V you had good grammar and I liked where you were going with it, but I think some of you vocab was thrown in for a more 'complex' affect and didn't really fit with your verse, some of it didn't make too much sense and a couple of things made me think 'wtf' if you see what I mean? I know it was keystyled and thanks for submitting though. Both of you submitted last minute and I'm really grateful you made the effort.

Glad You Keeping The Tourney Going ..
Voting Rubix

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - V3numb - More To The Topical Style
Vocabulary - V3numb - Better Overall
Topic/Meaning - Tie - Both Came In Different Directions w/ There Piece
Storytelling/Progression - FAME - Only Cos It Was Shorter
Emotion - N/A - Due To Lack Of
Imagery - Tie - Borh Knew What There Were Writing Bout
Poetic Techniques - N/A
Ending - FAME -

Overall MVGT - V3 tbh