2013 GC: RD1 - Bnas Vs Blocc - (Bnas Wins 3-1)

Bnas Vs Blocc

This topical is part of the 2013 Topical Grand Championship

Rules
Verses are due Friday, November 8th.
Verses are to be posted in THIS thread.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 20-30 lines long.
Vote deductions will happen for people going over.
Voting is 3-0 KO, 3-1 TKO or first to 5.

Topic
Following Dreams

[Joe MuGGz]

GSG.. Lets go!

[Blocc Durty]

since i was a shorty playing with power strangers and staying away from strangers/my stars i reached for were higher than coat hangers/i wanted that top shelf life,spitten raps while fingering a wife/ so i ate my wheaties and got into tech n9ne, leanred how to be the man from watching new guy and went on letssbeef to wreck minds/then realize i was shitty and got gritty with people who try to get with me, "like you suck,step ya game up" i was like what the fuck, ill crush you like my name slut/so then i got manic depressed and regret that i tried to become an LB vet,computer being fixed is the only time ill listen to TECH/ v3numb was like blocc you a wreck, but i was like fuck my dreams im living regrets/side track a moment when i was spitting about rappings and knife, a lil bitty came along for head with good pussy so i made her my wife/ introduce her to my emcee where my mic is my life/ she didnt know what to think cause all she had was nerds and geek/ i was like oh ma im that marvel loving rap spitting dweeb who likes to DON-O's when i nerd out speek/ im thinking i might finally made it
to the gate like indians wo herd out sheep/FINALLY!!!!! im unique killing the audio scene, banging my wife with my shoalin sword til she cream/ its all dream, i went from noob to letsbeef magazine with pugz with in the limousine like ima smaller biggie/ theres a list of cats
that been murder like they spitting getting jiggy/now many bitches want to get with me/ life use to be shitty/but now im fulfilling my dreams of being an emcee to making tracks that everyone will see/ive done what a few have and thats beat the odds like its a cancer disease/ but hey at least now at 28 i can stay i fulfill my dreams

[ELOH STACKz]

Better verse, structure, flow, vocab...

Vote: Bnas

Needs more information

Blocc - Spotted some typo's.. I wasn't feeling your verse. Was put together sloppy from my p.o.v. Vocab wasn't outstanding but neutral. Your consistency was alright to say the least.
Bnas - Spotted some typos as well. Felt your verse was put together better than your challenger..
Your bars had more meaning to it. at times it sounded wack but your ending was pre solid.

& The Winner Is.*Opens envelope*.: Bnas!

I agree with caked. I was feeling the structure of blocc. But that's not what took this for me. Lyricism took this. I enjoyed both stories, as I usually do. I just Bananas took this with the overall verse. Flow, lyricism, imagery. It wasn't a top notch verse givin this is his first time. You don't have to cap the multies . Blocc, keep at it. I can see the storytelling in you, just need to grind down the edges.
MVGT: Bananas

[The Ghost of Freak]

@UnEtH , I've heard plenty good work from these two in the past, but tbh gotta say you both could of come harder. It seems like both rushed the fuck out of this topical, but I'm still glad you all threw down…. PROPS AND RESPECT!

@Bnas had a bit better structure and consistency in flow, but I have seen/heard better rhyming from you. I feel as if you needed to loosen up your verse a bit and not force multis that aren't working for you. Focus on telling your story more and add your rhymes within as you go is my suggestion.

@Blocc - You a crazy motherfucker all over the place, but had some funny as fuck lines. I felt you could have spent some time cleaning up structure by doing a little editing to remove repetative rhymes and improve flow, especially towards the end. I thought you captured the topic well… somehow.

In the end I'm basing my vote on two things for this particular match: 1. Staying on topic of "following dreams" and 2. entertainment value

MVGT Blocc , because he entertained me more, despite his awful structure, but captured multiple dreams with his creepy wifey shit, weird dreamy indian sheep herding line, as well as the LetsBeef deal (which I felt Bnas stuck to too closely with the one rap dream, when the topic is "Following Dreams" which is is plural to be picky)

[Blocc Durty]

i appreciate all who took time to vote....tbh topicals is my fortay but ive been a busy man and and threw shit together to meet deadline....props to @Bnas for putting in the effort.....goodluck to all in this tourney @UnEtH fantastic tourney put together without your message id miss deadline lol

Upping

Blocc: Your life changed around based on your standing on LB? Lmao. This was alright for a first time. You obviously wrote it pretty quick. I find that the more personal a piece is to you, the less well it comes off. That's why I find fictional storytelling to be the most effective. It forces you to write in an emotional way, about emotions you don't even feel. That demonstrates your skill set a bit more. I won't be too critical, keep at it.

Bnas: Weirdly the exact same topic I stuff I said to Blocc, just read above . The rhyming was okay, but you didn't really do much to demonstrate your skills here. You just kind of freestyled off a quick drop about LB. You really want to think of this. Following Dreams can give you ANY topic. Rags to riches, psychedelic trip, some walking on scary blood on Max Payne shit. Think outside the box a little bit when you get your topic.

Overall, this was close, but I think one was more impressive with their rhyme schemes, and that's all there is to split it for me.

Bnas GETS MY VOTE