Catharsis vs FAME ROUND 2 CATHARSIS WINS!!

[IV]

Catharsis vs FAME

House rules apply. Any questions, contact me.

Check ins are due Friday (March 16th) at 11.59PM EST
Verses are due Monday (March 19th) at 11.59PM EST

2004 BOXING DAY TSUNAMI

Line length; 20-60 lines
3-0 K.O or first to 5 votes

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

[FAME]

Checkin in...

[Catharsis]

Check.....

[IV]

Thanks for both checking in on time! Please submit your verses by Monday at 11.59EST or you will be replaced by a wild card last minute entry! Good luck!

[FAME]

I'll write mine up either saturday night or sunday afternoon

[Catharsis]

Got mine pretty much cooked up... just doing the last bit of editing.

[FAME]

Washed Up

I used to be somebody, I used to be seen as a role model,
Now I'm staring into old bottles, Drowning in my own sorrow,
I'm so washed up.

I used to be somebody, I used to be seen as one of the greats,
I didn't see anything stopping my reign, But these waves of power just got in my way,
I'm so washed up.

Power is a fickle thing, It only leads to greed,
I forgot about those closest to me in order to please my needs,
I had everything I ever wanted, But my success wasn't all it seemed to be,
Because now I look back at my accomplishments and I only read and weep.

The hunger grew and grew, I always wanted more,
But the hunger changed me and my family left, Yeah, I lost them all,
My friends soon followed suit, And then I thought I'd locked the door,
But then my wife packed her bags and went, That's when I really dropped the ball.

I was all alone with my riches, Nobody to confide in,
I'd scream at stack of bills to drown the horrifying silence,
Take a bunch of pills and start propping up my eye lids,
And stay conscious enough because I'd wanna hear the sirens,

Even with all the power I had, I was too weak to take my own life so I was laying in a hospital bed,
I'd wake up every morning, Praying to God I was dead,
I had the world at my feet, I was on top of it, Yet...
I wish I'd plummet back down to earth and drop to my death.

I used to be somebody, I used to be seen as one of the greats,
I didn't see anything stopping my reign, But these waves of power just got in my way,
I'm so washed up.

I used to be somebody, I used to be seen as a role model,
Now I'm staring into old bottles, Drowning in my own sorrow,
I'm so washed up.

[Catharsis]

All eyes on me.

(The eye of the beholder)
It's 10:00 am in Thailand... on the beach at Kata Noi
Family time... your mind is brought to shots of Koi, and thoughts of joy.
Girl playing, wife sleeping... and it's piggy back from pops to boy.
But I'm not a toy, and this shoulder ride is hurting Papa (Oy!)
Like a total sack in October past, I rolled over a folder stack and my lower back got destroyed.
Gently now I drop the boy, pop some of the doctors ploy... now father's spent.
Son is right beside me...blimey... now I'm wondering where my daughter went.
Now dad is trippen, too panic stricken to stop and even wonder where the water went.
I'm blind to people running around me, deaf to great commotion.
Then I see wife with daughter by the hand... staring terrified at the bay and ocean.
I rotate slowly spike of pain...that's when I see the wave in motion.
Pure reaction...pick my daughter up and push the wifey right 'round.
She screaming "MIKE, HOW?!?!".. but no time to fight now, it's flight now...for high ground.
Life drowns in that type sound, ....but a rescue chopper!?!
What life to find me....and what righteous timing.
Then I'm stuck with a sight that blinds me.
Wife yelling as I push her to safety, "WHERE'S OUR SON?!"
.......but he was... right behind me.


(The eye of the storm)
Tumultuous tectonic tyrants...at constant war,
the grounds shifting.
Surface seeming serene and still, but down fifty...
the grounds lifting.
An actual natural uprising, collectively climbing,
until the shelf stopped.
I was born in this tidal/title storm, a force formed...
when the shelf dropped.
Energy expertly expanding every way... like colonialists I run around.
Existentially, I'm oceanic... but oh the panic when I run aground.
I've come and gone long before... along the shore,
they've tried to thwart me.
Families foolishly frolic, then parents offer "Where's the water?"...
as I've silently pulled the tide toward me.
In deep water I'm harmless, but the closer I get... I'm taking sand.
...taking rocks, taking boats, so I'm a bulldozer breaking land.
Beach bare but for a boy... it seem too completely hypnotized to even,
have tried running.
Suddenly son's savior appears...but flee faster,
...for I'm coming.


(The AmericanEYES/ized)
A barely there American... only aware he's terrified of 'Terrorism'.
As a matter of fact, Terror Is Him.
Oh the errors in him.
Trained by the news, ingrained in his blues...
he calls the cops on what he calls "Arabian Dudes"
He's also too afraid of newer strains of Avian Flu.
His brother Mike is nothing like him, a worldly, traveled man.
But he didn't think much about brothers travel plans.
He's rather bland, carpal tunnel...strapped with the wrist wrap,
He watches Fox for facts... not sure what it is he's fucking pissed at.
Flipping quickly through the stations, problems with Haitians?
...must've missed that.
He's not really miffed at, the pics that...were leaked from Abu Ghraib.
Nah, dude's crazed... he lovingly calls it 'Apu's Grave'.
He prays to GOD TO SAVE, the 'worlds greatest nation'... from John Kerry.
Signs around his house say 'We need Bush!' and 'BOMB FAIRIES'!
Wrong?....very.
But it's a primal rage... enforced and reinforced through family ties,
from an idol age.
Something new on every channel now, the destruction from a tidal wave.
Phuket? Fuck, it...sort a rings a bell, but it don't bother him none.
Cuz he's here in the south of Texas, where water is fun.
Then the news says "2 confirmed American tourists dead....
.... a father and son"

[Red Dot]

one was more personal and you could tell. i really enjoyed both pieces. i liked the imagery in one, and the flow and mood in one was dope as hell and would sound hella nice on wax. both dropped nice pieces but one got it IMO and that's FAME.

[FAME]

@Red Dot... I think you gotta do your voting like this

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow - (Explanation of who did better and why)
Vocabulary - (Explanation of who did better and why)
Topic/Meaning - (Explanation of who did better and why)
Storytelling/Progression - (Explanation of who did better and why)
Emotion - (Explanation of who did better and why)
Imagery - (Explanation of who did better and why)
Poetic Techniques - (Explanation of who did better and why)
Ending - (Explanation of who did better and why)

Overall - (Summary of why you picked your winner)