Ight, now that it's over..questions:

[AfterThought]

I got a couple questions I want answers to in all honesty by any decent voters (not a shot at any voters, I just really wanna understand)

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=493784

Now, that was my battle with @Shodan, cool verse, has possibility to win I guess, but for any reasons but wording being better, let's check it out:

AT's homies will watch THESE ROUNDS HURT THIS WHORE QUICK, it'll "Dawn 'on 'em after son goes down" and they'll BE OUT "EARLY, MOURNING!

..Ok, cool, it's worded good enough not to be bad and got a son/sun/morning/mourning wp.

Who says Afterthought is ACTUALLY KNOWN?, HONESTLY, if you hear "A-T(ee) is extra-large"? that's FAT PEOPLE'S CLOTHES SHOPPING SPREES!

Now, other than the fact that A Tee wp was used alot against me, this is a serious ass question: am I the only one that feels this multi a bit awkward? Anyway..

I HURT & MUG LAME NERDS, i'll prolly "bask in robbin" AT NO 31 FLAVORS! I'll shove a screwdriver into ya face, that's how I RIP FAKIN' Gs, to put it "past your eyes" like making MILK SAFE TO DRINK!

Ok, now I got a real problem with this right here. I hurt & mug lame nerds, can you say that in a casual conversation? Can you be like ayyyy bruh, I hurt & mug lame nerds??
We can let hurt & mug rhyming with 31 slide..but isn't lame nerds & flavors just a tad forced??
....and then in the middle of that casual conversation, you can slide "I rip fakin Gs"??

Then use the pasteurize wp (which was used very heavily back in 2012) in the most mediocre way possible, then end that rhyme with milk safe to drink???


My main question is, am I the only one that sees something wrong with this? Coz I had major wording problems up until 2014 and I always got criticized for it till I fixed the shit...
@Shodan This is not even directed with any malice your way, it's just that you used to have to have the ability to construct a smooth verse to win, so I'm trynna understand it

[NatsHubby]

Awkward multis, horrible wording and overall a shabby verse, first verse the punch was the only thing that was worded good tbh.

[AfterThought]

What I'm wondering is if 1 Shodan well-worded okay punch was enough to earn votes from my whole 8 lines

EDIT: Tagged random unbiased people I can think of to the thread

[GRizzEAT]

questioning tha verse isn needed.. anyone with an eye for this shit knows it was buns. maybe questioning tha voters... lemme peep n see who all voted.

[Subreal]

thats why i'm done with this shit. they just stick random people into the FVC and even staff positions now and give them increased VP. Coffin dodger is a fucking mod lmao, he is ass.

[AfterThought]

According to @ILLicitt 's expo, I had nice ideas but could have presented them better, and he felt my punches WEREN'T AS STAND OUT AS MY OPPONENT'S!

[NatsHubby]

AT's homies will watch THESE ROUNDS HURT THIS WHORE QUICK, it'll "Dawn 'on 'em after son goes down" and they'll BE OUT "EARLY, MOURNING!"

- The dawn/sun/mourning concept has been played. Other than that the wording in the punchline was nice, the setup had nothing to do with the punchline though, had a little sense of continuity but no conceptual connection to the punchline itself.


AfterThought? I hate this HOPELESS FAGGOT, he tryna get famous, become well-KNOWN IN MATCHES but "he's invisible, in the ring" & I don't mean FRODO BAGGINS!

- The whole "I hate this...known in matches" was filler as it packed no concept but it was just a sentence with multiple multi sets with no jabs or connection to the main punchline. Saying he's invisible in the rings doesn't actually pass off as a diss unless you mean he no shows a lot, then in makes sense. The concept was meh.


Who says Afterthought is ACTUALLY KNOWN?, HONESTLY, if you hear "A-T(ee) is extra-large"? that's FAT PEOPLE'S CLOTHES SHOPPING SPREES!

- The setup you talk about his popularity/him being known and in the punch you call him "extra large" (which again is not a diss, you don't actually call a person extra large and insult him, the wording is just awkward) which are two different ideas and not related to each other. And you don't actually say "clothes shopping sprees". The multi in itself sounds so forced grammatically and in terms of annunciation.

I HURT & MUG LAME NERDS, i'll prolly "bask in robbin" AT NO 31 FLAVORS! I'll shove a screwdriver into ya face, that's how I RIP FAKIN' Gs, to put it "past your eyes" like making MILK SAFE TO DRINK! (pasteurise)

- Take a minute, would you say "Hurt and mug lame nerds" in an actual conversation though? Thats simply filler because it doesn't pack any concept nor is it related to your punchline. The baskin robbin concept was executed poorly, what do you exactly mean by "AT NO 31 FLAVORS"? Because it makes no sense nor does it "Diss" your opponent. What exactly and how do you "RIP FAKING Gs"? The term itself is so filler and not needed and it seems as if you just added it there because it fit in with the multi scheme in the bar. The pasteurise wordplay is beyond played and dated to be honest..

Honestly this verse was a 5/10 in all honesty.

[AfterThought]

@NatsBoyfriend Yep, thats a reasonable breakdown..

I know it sound cliche, but this is really why people leave LB after they come back lol.

I seen that battle too and intended to vote and was too late but in all honesty, I thought that shit was closer than expected. I agree to everything mentioned in the OP but your verse wasn't all that either. Felt you came with some played material as well(lines/movie, fuck/celibate, squeeze arms/blood pressure, pussy/feminist) and phrases that either sounded awkward or doesnt come in casual conversation (you a soft salty piece of food-->??) and the latter stuck out like a sore thumb imo.

[Shodan]

im not even gonna front, my verse was ass

i just haven't been dropping anything good recently. guess my brain isn't working right