Race To 1000 Posts

[2FUEL]

Yo mama so fat, she leaves stretch marks in the tub.

[Shodan]

9/11 was a series of attacks conducted by Mossad [1], with the full cooperation of the Vice President of the United States (Dick Cheney) [2] and his good friends in the American-Israeli political lobby. These attacks were intentionally blamed on Muslim terrorists to serve as pretext for a war with Afghanistan which Dick Cheney had been planning since July 2001. Then-Pakistani Foreign Secretary Niaz Naik was told about the pending war that summer, in order that the Pakistani government would be aware of the need to use its airspace. [3]

Four planes were hijacked by men who were radicalised by Israeli intelligence and led to believe they were working for al Qaeda, and then subsequently flown into several American landmarks. [4]

That same afternoon, despite apparently having no intelligence on the hijackers before they hijacked the planes, the Bush Crime Family suddenly had a list of 19 “suspects” it claimed had been responsible for the attacks and, despite claiming to know nothing about these men, decided they worked for al Qaeda. Several weeks after the attacks, it became clear that at least several of the hijackers were not using their real identities during the flights, yet traditional media sources have never changed the original list of names [5][6]

After the attacks, the WTC buildings fell down completely symmetrically, at free fall speed. Despite this, the NIST investigation officially sanctioned by the Bush Crime Family failed to test for the presence of any type of explosive. [7] Danish chemistry expert Professor Niels Harrit however proved in 2009 that military grade thermate charges were used to cut the buildings' resistance to their own weight, so that gravity dragged them to the ground. [8]

However, in spite of Harrit's findings, millions of Americans continue to deny the existence of basic laws of physics which prevent the symmetrical, free fall collapse of buildings which have been struck horizontally five sixths of the way up (north tower). These laws include: f=ma, the law of mechanical equilibrium, conservation of energy and Newton's third law. Additionally, the principles of falling to the path of least resistance and Occam's Razor are also violated by the official explanation.

L. Paul Bremer, the man who first appeared on television newscreens at 12.45 pm that same day to suggest Osama bin Laden may have been the culprit[9], worked at Marsh & McLennan, the same company whose offices occupied precisely the impact zone of Flight 11 (floors 93-100). Bremer himself was supposed to be present for a meeting that morning, but understandably didn't turn up for the barbecue party. Ironically, Bremer previously sat on the board of advisors for Japanese machinery company Komatsu, who, working in conjunction with Dresser industries (an oil company with links to Bush senior that merged with Haliburton in 1998[10]), patented a thermate demolition charge in 1996 which "demolishes a concrete structure at a high efficiency, while preventing a secondary problem due to noise, flying dust and chips, and the like."

[2FUEL]

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," so she turned around and went home.

[Student]

"Ernest Hemingway once wrote, "The world is a fine place and worth fighting for." I agree with the second part." - William Somerset (Morgan Freeman)

Se7en

[2FUEL]

Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she ran away from home, her parents called the dog catcher.

[2FUEL]

Yo' Mama is so fat, when she left her home country, the population dropped by 10%.

[2FUEL]

Yo' Mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can down the street, and when I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Moving."

[Student]

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that...he is gone." - Verbal Kint (Kevin Spacey)

The Usual Suspects

[2FUEL]

Yo' Mama's breath is so stanky, it's like her tongue farted.

[2FUEL]

Yo' Mama is so poor, she got married for the rice.