Topical Championship '14 FINAL ROUND. Dono vs Row - Page 2 - Lets Beef

**Dono** · #11 12-30-2014, 06:28 PM

Votes are hidden until all of them are in. Then they're all put back in after the decision is over to help avoid swaying.

**Dono** · 12-30-2014, 06:28 PM

Votes are hidden until all of them are in. Then they're all put back in after the decision is over to help avoid swaying.

**Obey** · #12 12-30-2014, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dono

Votes are hidden until all of them are in. Then they're all put back in after the decision is over to help avoid swaying.

Ah okay, just making sure. Good battle though, you both killed it.

**Obey** · 12-30-2014, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dono

Votes are hidden until all of them are in. Then they're all put back in after the decision is over to help avoid swaying.

Ah okay, just making sure. Good battle though, you both killed it.

#13 12-31-2014, 12:04 PM

First and foremost, this was a difficult topic. I felt Dono took a more cliche approach with his story, and I felt it seemed rushed, and a bit lack luster comparatively to what he's capable of. The ending to me just didn't slide, and really took away from the visceral setting of the piece as a whole. I felt Row's approach to the topic was more creative, which seemed to draw me in more to the piece. It also had a semblance of being rushed, especially with some of the redundancy in the first portion, and the first point of view. Some of the rhyming seemed pretty lack luster, and the imagery just wasn't there for me, in extreme detail. Which is something that Dono had in droves. This was a really close call, and it's difficult to make a decision, but, I think I have to lean toward the more creative use of the topic overall.

MVGT - Row.

12-31-2014, 12:04 PM

First and foremost, this was a difficult topic. I felt Dono took a more cliche approach with his story, and I felt it seemed rushed, and a bit lack luster comparatively to what he's capable of. The ending to me just didn't slide, and really took away from the visceral setting of the piece as a whole. I felt Row's approach to the topic was more creative, which seemed to draw me in more to the piece. It also had a semblance of being rushed, especially with some of the redundancy in the first portion, and the first point of view. Some of the rhyming seemed pretty lack luster, and the imagery just wasn't there for me, in extreme detail. Which is something that Dono had in droves. This was a really close call, and it's difficult to make a decision, but, I think I have to lean toward the more creative use of the topic overall.

MVGT - Row.

**OSKAR** · #14 12-31-2014, 12:06 PM

Pretty Enjoyable reads from both. I liked one's scenario/story, writing technique (wording use of imagery etc.) more. However I believe his opponent linked his story to the topic better by explaining what followed after two different reactions to the same scenario...Shit can go either way it comes down to preference. Vote: Dono

**OSKAR** · 12-31-2014, 12:06 PM

Pretty Enjoyable reads from both. I liked one's scenario/story, writing technique (wording use of imagery etc.) more. However I believe his opponent linked his story to the topic better by explaining what followed after two different reactions to the same scenario...Shit can go either way it comes down to preference. Vote: Dono

**Subreal** · #15 12-31-2014, 12:09 PM

Dono, at first i thought this was another cliche war topical but then i finished it. i liked how you gived subtle little hints throughout that hinted at your ending. As for the relevancy to the topic, it is there but very deep and broad in my personal opinion, I believe i get it, 10% because you are still actually doing it mentally I guess in the video game, but the 90% being how you immerse yourself in it compared to reality. I thought it was a great piece but i feel like it could have been more closely connected to the topic, but it was still solid.

Row, I like how you stayed relevant to the topic and how you wrote your verse for this. The whole 10% being that the wife is gonna be watching the hunger games and it's all how you react to it. The way you wrote the two different outcomes kinda reminded me of the butterfly effect movie, how simple changes in life can affect a bigger picture.

Hate to have to vote on this, both of you did great pieces but i felt like one's topical had a stronger grasp on the topic.

MVGT:Row

**Subreal** · 12-31-2014, 12:09 PM

Dono, at first i thought this was another cliche war topical but then i finished it. i liked how you gived subtle little hints throughout that hinted at your ending. As for the relevancy to the topic, it is there but very deep and broad in my personal opinion, I believe i get it, 10% because you are still actually doing it mentally I guess in the video game, but the 90% being how you immerse yourself in it compared to reality. I thought it was a great piece but i feel like it could have been more closely connected to the topic, but it was still solid.

Row, I like how you stayed relevant to the topic and how you wrote your verse for this. The whole 10% being that the wife is gonna be watching the hunger games and it's all how you react to it. The way you wrote the two different outcomes kinda reminded me of the butterfly effect movie, how simple changes in life can affect a bigger picture.

Hate to have to vote on this, both of you did great pieces but i felt like one's topical had a stronger grasp on the topic.

MVGT:Row