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Text Cypher
  Length: 8 Lines each

"Chloroformers Tryout Cypher #5"

illMindz
Virtuous Circle




Babylon

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Lil_Epic_Tune12
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TheProblem
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~ASP3CT~
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illMindz
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  Rate this Cypher

Cypher started: July 2nd 2013 at 19:06



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  Member Comments


Alright good shit guys, I'll post an expo & answer to all your verses shortly.

Posted on: 2013-07-06 18:46:17 Private Message Babylon


Aight Jose, Imma have to say no based on the simple fact you're on a multi of a certain person. Sorry fam.

Posted on: 2013-07-07 15:57:16 Private Message Babylon


Illmindz, you don't rhyme bad at all but you should try adding in more syllables to your rhymes to increase complexity (Example: 'bunch of HORDERS' you could use all three of these words in the rhyme & it would work but you choose to only go with one, 'horders'. You could have rhymed BUNCH OF HORDERS with; JUMPED THE BORDE, FUCKIN HORROR etc. You also need to try & incorporate some punchlines in your verse, but I'm sure you can at least make it in Chloro with the complex rhymes then we can teach you more about the other elements once in. So please try and incorporate better rhyming in the next Cypher, all in all pretty solid verse.

Posted on: 2013-07-07 16:01:51 Private Message Babylon


Tune, you had no real signs of punchlines & a lot of your rhyming was off, and the things that did rhyme were very basic (glock/shots) if you'd like to PM me I can share some tips about what you can do to improve, I won't type all of that here but basically just work on your wording & schemes then try and incorporate multi syllable rhymes instead of things like cage/prey (Which are debatable rhymes anyway :P). But yeah if you're interested in elevating please PM me. That'll help you for next time.

Posted on: 2013-07-07 16:05:06 Private Message Babylon


u 5 dudes are buddy voting for each other, I've been watching u guys voting for each other... thats the reason why I'm calling u out!!!!! don't be surprised if u get banned....

Posted on: 2013-07-08 08:45:04 Private Message ~ASP3CT~


I don't think I've voted on any battle from any of these guys.... but okay?

Posted on: 2013-07-08 13:42:37 Private Message Babylon


Problem, I see a lot of potential in you & you'll prolly be picked up if you follow these tips: 1 try to rhyme like you did with the "Super Major/Numerator" & "Breathe With Me/Peacefully" bars. There were lines I liked & didn't like in your verse. Most rhymes were under par but some were on point. I think your best rhyming was in the "Compete with me" bar yet it failed to deliver with the "Real Emcee" rhyme put in there, everything else rhymed well & matched the syllable count but that. You also showed promise that you can use punchlines with your "Stay on top like a numerator" line which is why I see the potential in you. So next cypher polish your rhymes & try and add some punches in there & you'll be in in no time.

Posted on: 2013-07-08 13:49:17 Private Message Babylon


Dude dont fucking bring me into this explicit? coz i dont even know these guys okay

Posted on: 2013-07-10 05:17:02 Private Message illMindz


props
Rated: 8

Posted on: 2013-07-13 21:04:56 Private Message Mr`WordParlay

 

 

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