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LMFAO!!!!!!!! yo funny as fuck nice story, nice flow, you got some skill real talk. 9/10
Rated: 9
Posted on: 2008-12-30 16:12:16 
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SOme ways to improve are, change up how you start every line, Like I noticed you used "I quickly got up" 3 or 4 times, maybe add in a punchline thats fits the concept of the story, but other than that..very creative and funny as fuck. Gerdy lol i wouldn't fuck a bitch named Gerdy LMFAO
Rated: 9
Posted on: 2008-12-30 16:14:32
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lol thanks for the advice celsius.
Posted on: 2008-12-30 16:21:54
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LMAO!!!! This funny for real!! i wonder who inspired you? LOL i like the endin! Holl@ @ y@ Boi!!!
Rated: 10
Posted on: 2008-12-30 16:29:57
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lol I was inspired by wade wilson after reading his drop. lmao good shit
Posted on: 2008-12-30 16:37:08
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we should do a cypher together lol
Rated: 10
Posted on: 2008-12-30 16:39:05
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lol hell ya. Let's do it tomorrow. Cause I gotta get off in like 5 minutes.
Posted on: 2008-12-30 16:40:20
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{ISWAG REPRESENTA IN DIS BITCH}
SHOWIN' SUM LUV, GUD SHYT MA'
Rated: 9
Posted on: 2008-12-30 17:20:25
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lol part is in the works
Posted on: 2008-12-30 19:00:29
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i ment part 2 is in the works
Posted on: 2008-12-30 19:00:49
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HOTT this shawty can spit it, take celcus advice he knows what hes doing i give u a ten mama
Rated: 10
Posted on: 2008-12-30 21:53:06
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follow cel's advice,
Rated: 10
Posted on: 2008-12-30 22:12:54
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the story was ya greatest strength lol...funny somewhat it is...shit that could be what your good at makin story raps ya know what u can improve is how u format it and add some meta4's 2 catch the reader off guard or similies...holla at me 4 more questions...great 4 ur 1st solo cypher
Rated: 9
Posted on: 2008-12-31 04:45:33
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I like the Story and the twist at the end. Kinda my thing too to twist the end of a story.
Rated: 6
Posted on: 2009-01-01 20:08:59
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It's cool
Rated: 6
Posted on: 2009-01-01 20:41:32
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.
Posted on: 2009-01-02 23:44:13
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hahaha I'M GAY!.......
lol funny stuff girl litsen to celcius he is good and why the fuck wasnt i offered a cypher? lol ...
Rated: 10
Posted on: 2009-01-02 23:58:56
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lol glad you liked it. And of course I'mma listen to celsius. Check out part 2. =)
Posted on: 2009-01-03 00:17:55
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HAHA...FUNII..I LYK DA ENDIN .. IZ SIK .. LMFAO THO.. YH CELSUIS DA MAN.. HE GT GUD ADVICE B .. 10 STILL .
Rated: 10
Posted on: 2009-01-03 14:00:46
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..
Posted on: 2009-01-06 19:05:29
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