bump

This was a close one. But not really for good reason. I felt both struggled with wording. Bobby had a broke multie or two. And I wasnt feeling the multies from Oz. Some multies seemed kinda forced like bobbies first line. Either way fairs in. 

But my botb picked my winner. 

BOTB:"can PICTURE IT PERFECT YO cause you wouldnt "move w. that CANE/CAINE" if you LIVED IN A NURSING HOME"

Bobby, fuck you've got a lot of battles this month eh? Haha. Feedback was the same for most other battles. This one was a also a little less coherant than the others. Love your workrate though.

Willard, the circus idea was terrible haha. I don't know if you're getting schooled by Rican in Smack, but on behalf of everyone not named Rican, don't do that shit haha. It doesn't really make any difference to have that sort of "hidden theme" going on. It also made the verse look a little bit amateur with the astricks in there throughout. That being said, I liked your rhyming and you set up punches with solid fundamentals. Best bar was the nursing home one. Good verse.

boob here on try theming your bars and try creating your punches as per that theme along with set ups should help you in getting the conceptualizing your punches down sooner you could begin with even rounds bars or dafeet bars themese could be anything just make sure you give a theme to every line you write hereon and scheme with it, and practice it in 8s like these even if you lose until you feel the idea of newer concepts coming to you is smoother. 

this is basically allwizard did really and takes the win here. good attempt from both. 

also willard if you could keep the expos out of your verses and post it in the comments instead that would help the readibility of your verses and add to it's impact as well !!

^Don't listen to that advice. Don't put your expos in the verse, but also don't put them in the comments. Just explain your shit in the verse. Too many people on LB are like "Read my 70 page essay expo in the comments" and I'm like "Mate if you're doing a live battle you can't pull out an A4 page of expos and hand them out".