I wrote this a while ago and dont really like it, it's not great I was still trying to figure out how to write a good verse so don't take it too seriously.

fairnin

Flow got this for me for directing attacks with slightly better execution. Also made more sense. Quite basic in terms of your ideas and how you flipped them. I'd suggest tryna work on being more creative, so read some battles to see how better battlers flip their ideas and how they use their concepts to see how others get more sting to their punches.

Hallow, better compared to anything you've ever probably written. But still the wording was unnatural at points and the execution wasn't too good. But you have improved and some ideas you string together well. Keep at it, just try making the wording cleaner so it makes more sense.