Expo: mostly not needed. A bastard is a child born out of wed-lock. Other than that, it's a very simple verse that's rich in multi's. GL Toke

Both gotta work on their punches but in this one I got Heavy because he stepped out the box and actually had rhymes that were beyond 1 syllable. Not much else to separate as I felt neither was tossing hitting punchlines. HMH got the flow down though and can be a problem if he keep working on the punches!

One has the right idea. Both could use some improvement imo fv

Loser didnt have enough sting to his punches. Execution wasn't really good, you didn't really bring anything creative here. Closer was maybe your best, but this wasn't a good verse overall. You should read more battles and see how others structure their bars to get the most out of em.

Winner just about took this. Better punches but wording was bad and most of your multis were broken like the ones with extra syllables, which made the read choppy. Also could do with upping your creativity, this was too close and you could have done so much better. Guess you were taking it easy, liked the opener though. 

going with the Loc on this one

I liked your rhyming and your metaphors you tried toke loc and you definitely have potential. I bet you can agree though, heavy metal has you beat here. Although he had no metaphors or super hard punches. He killed the rhymenschemes with multis and was attacking the entire verse. Fairs in fellas.