shit gb himura batt

Easy

I would honestly of given this to Jay S as he did have better punches, and no broken multis. Himura, you have a thing called broken multis all throughout your work, and although you verse sounds some what okay when reading aloud, it seemed very simple. You had some decent concept choices, like the Childs Play / Chuckie stuff, if you could just give it a stronger "Set-Up" I think you could of turned it into a very strong "PUNCH!"

Multi sets should be clean, and they should match in syllable counts. For example:

CAPPIN YA RHYMES

BLASTIN A NINE

^Both are 4 syllables, and you should keep ALL your multi sets like that (matching syllable wise). Writing bars actually has some technical aspects to it, and its not as straight forward as just putting stuff down in the box. (Contrary to popular belief) xD. I like how you attempted to scheme the verse, but I see many areas where you can make improvements. Send me a personal message, and I can help break some bars down for you and we can get down to the nitty gritty details. Fairs in.

one's banned and didn't bring any punches, just rambled and didn't try connectin his shit together ... other's multis were broken and slanted, syllables didn't match up which made tha whole read sound choppy, but at least you attempted punches here, setups could have been better cos ideas were good, good thing was that you was direct imo and that led to some more sting ... got my winner with a better display here ... fair's in

HimRodera did his thing 

Not much expo needed here. Proper verse from Himura, not so much from the banned fella.