Too Soon? Lol

Lol.  You can really see where the live battling took over my approach.  The bars are ones I'd use on stage and they'd land big.  On LB, this style isn't highly valued.  

Good battle guys. Crit, it’s important to try and fill the box completely. If you’re unsure check out some other battles as well. From there. Can try to start upping rhyme counts. Curfew, closer was hilarious bro!

Expo- the "fitty" line is a reference to the TV show "Power". Fif's character Kanan ordered his son to kill his rival "ghost", the show's protagonist.  When he fails to do so,  he kills his own son.  

i have to give this to cerfew , he utilized a number of multis. wasnt perfect but tried his best to use punchlines n wordplay. cerfew , fill in the box and cap size rhyme syllables and you will improve. Fairs in.

Curfew's verse was better. Fairs.

IVE CHOSEN THIS BATTLE TO BE VOTED ON BY THA POTENTIAL NEW FVC MEMBERS..... SAIIYAN AND SEULS COMMENTS WERE DELETED BUT THE VOTES REMAIN.... THEY WILL BE RE-POSTING THEIR VOTES AS COMMENTS...... YOU WILL BE GETTING 11 VOTES IN TOTAL.

FVC Entry Vote

Curfew:

- You took this one quite convincingly, you showcased more unique ideas, better rhyming, and over-all better structure to your verse, however there was a few things I think you can improve on. I noticed in certain areas, your rhyming was a little off, for example, CAN FACE THE DON, TEMPLATE SEEMS WRONG. )CAN and TEM to me sound to different for it to be clean, imo). I think it took you a while to get to the X punch, but it was decent when it hit. The pops punch was delivered well, but at the same time, it was kinda played son/pops has been done countless times, you've been here long enough to know that. I liked the square in the chest shit, made me laugh. Decent closer.

Critick:

- You had many flaws in your work, but don't take this as a dig at you. I am just gonna lay out the foundations for you, over-all compared to your opponent you can see that your bars lacked real structure, you should try to spend about 2 lines per bar, and fit 4 punches over-all in an 8line battle. This is the # I normally go for in my battles. You were rhyming at 1 syllable alot of times, and that doesn't show any sort of advanced skill, especially when placed side by side to a verse that is using much higher syllable rhyming. Idea wise, you weren't thinking outside of the box as much, and can tell the verse had less time put into it, than what curfew put into his. These are all things voters will be looking out for, try to set up your punches in a manner where its like "Set-Up" --> "PUNCH!!" Ensure that all of the wording, and witty/clever set ups you use, and relevant to the final punch and really cause an impact. I highly suggest reading through some of the tournament battles, to get an understanding of exactly what I mean. If you need anymore help, just send me a PM and we can break some bars down together.

Fairs in, good-luck to both battles!

4-5, low to mid.

Ok curfew ..... that last punch genuinely made me laugh out loud liked it creative ... so you verse over all was pretty nice my only concern was in your first 4 line you did an alternating multi scheme the only problem you have for this is the Multies where to far apart meaning it was hard to connect the scheme of you going to pursue that concept bring the Multies closer together ... other than that ya shit wasn’t half bad... critick ... an adapt name as you need to critique your own verse ... ok a few basics for LB full the box make the most of your space ... secondly one word rhyming isn’t going to cut it in the text arena you need to learn and intoduce a more complex rhyme scheme there are lots out there LB adopts Multies and we also CAP them to highlight the rhyming scheme... thirdly you need to learn some metaphors and similes this is a basic requirement as these will become punchlines this is what wins battles .... if you see me online and would like more advice hit me in the chat ... fairs in .:X:.

Loser needs to fill tha box and link his set ups together to bring a stronger punch, do this by keepin your bar within it's concept and keep tha flips creative and try keepin tha filler at a minimum, 4ead more battles to see how others structure their shit and also read tha votes to see what impresses tha voters and focus on them text elements ... winner's setups weren't too creative but his punches were okay, you have a style where you have long setups to your punch so I'd suggest you have loads of jabs in between which you lacked here, second punch was quite funny tho lol ... fairs in

Lmaoo. One was Better but that Ender Was TRASH! Lol! Like Titties That Aren't Round? LMAOOO! I've Honestly Never Seen Square Boobs. But hey, his verse was better against a NOOB!

Curfew: First off, your opening material didn't really rhyme. It wasn't completely unrhymed but the cadence and syllables were off unless you have some accent that's totally alien to me. CAN FACE THE DON / FRIENDS BLAZE THESE ARMS, to me, seems like two totally different rhyme schemes. As for the punches, they were creative but I still thought the execution was forced. Like, you said "I'll hit this bitch square in the chest." Would you say that in a normal sentence in reference to hitting a girl with non-round tits? I don't think so. Also, who the fuck has square tits?? I aint neva see dat.

Critick: Well, not much to say about this. You only used 5 lines out of 8, you had super simple rhymes, and you didn't really have any concepts. You were aggressive and insulting but lacked actual clever punchlines. That's pretty much an auto-loss against a verse with proper punchlines. Fair's in.

Curfew had better setups, less filler & smooth multies. Critick, not filling the box costed you here. Your verse had lots of filler & the shots you threw at Curfew were weak. peep some old battles here of top tiers and see how they construct their bars. Fairs in

Fv, auto win, one didn' fill his box. Winners rhymes heme was weird. And all around flow. I understood it. Just didn' like how it was delivered. 

Jizz approves !