Rob That Verse just didn't have enuff punches but I like the ferry wap line. But u need to make room of the space u have in your box and try to put your punches closer together bkus u also had too much filler BUT you're improving. Snow, your verse was very confusing at points. Lots of Set ups that didn't quite relate but you had the better verse. Voted: READY_ROB / Orochi
Posted on: 2016-07-05 23:58:40

Ones verse seems to be directed to another person should of sent it to the person it was intended to instead of making this an open..Now getting that out of the way the verse read smooth but it was simplistic as far as content and punches were concerned..Also u didn't fill the box entirely..The other displayed more complexity in terms of content but didn't read clean and felt that u had relevancy issues in terms of sets ups before actually getting to the punch..I got one edging slightly the fairs in Voted: READY_ROB / Orochi
Posted on: 2016-07-06 00:36:19

FV Voted: READY_ROB / Orochi
Posted on: 2016-07-09 10:38:01