Close...the rhymes are extremely basic, some of it made little sense, and there were really no punches to speak of. Both of yall need to look around the site and see what goes into a successful verse. One verse was funnier than the other so I'm going with that one. Posted on: 2016-03-20 11:08:22

shits trash Voted: 2shr_ / yoiampuneet
Posted on: 2016-03-20 10:45:54

Both have a LOT of work to do. For one, it's a new day in the battle world and 1-word rhymes is a very novice/beginner characteristic. Also, neither of you utilized punchlines or set ups. Plus the structure needs work (capping your rhymes). It felt like I was just reading a bunch of thrown together sentences that rhymed a little at the end. Both of y'all are better than that. Fair vote is in. Voted: 2shr_ / yoiampuneet
Posted on: 2016-03-20 10:59:24

I co-sign with Illicitt & Aggo shit is depressing to read..but anyway iam gon vote..one had beter lines..fair is in.. Voted: 2shr_ / yoiampuneet
Posted on: 2016-03-21 15:46:14

....I just went with more rhymes both were ok could be better Voted: 2shr_ / yoiampuneet
Posted on: 2016-03-21 16:17:49

l Voted: 2shr_ / yoiampuneet
Posted on: 2016-03-21 17:14:58

Both need to elevate fairs in Voted: 2shr_ / yoiampuneet
Posted on: 2016-03-21 17:35:04

One was just not bad in all areas but is noted that they had a lot of aggression they just need to improve on their overall concepts that they present. The other also wrote about simpler concepts as well and I do cosign with what's been said up above about the smaller rhyme schemes, you guys should both be going above and beyond a one syllable scheme. The win was decided because one had used from a diverse pool of concepts as opposed to the other. Also the other wasn't even rhyming at some points for example.... The other rhymed the words 'fast' and 's' together as well as later in their verse they rhymed the words 'desk' and 'task' together, not sure what was going on there. Okay battle guys, keep improving your game. FV Dawn¥ Voted: 2shr_ / yoiampuneet
Posted on: 2016-03-21 18:04:00

Also I don't concur with everyone else I do believe not capping your rhymes can lead to a successful verse, you just need to implement the use of commas and other types of punctuation to have greater effect in conveying your message more properly as well with the correct intention delivered. Also I cant stress enough that it can only work if you're using words that actually rhyme with each other (refer to previous comment for reference). Ight Dawn¥ Voted: 2shr_ / yoiampuneet
Posted on: 2016-03-21 18:09:47

Actually this battle was minor one between two friend and a comeback . Thanks for advice and comments though . I'll keep everything in mind during next battle Comment Only
Posted on: 2016-03-21 19:07:36