Cool Verse Comment Only
Posted on: 2015-11-19 20:32:52

BtB: Some nice concepts in your piece. They could do with being executed better though, you've some work to do, keep at it. You'd a nice flow in your piece. Also, focus more on attacking your opponent than wasting the text space on some self hype lines. Still, not a bad drop in the slightest. (seen a lot worse). Lizman: Not bad at all. You're still trying to cram to much into your bars. Focus on one concept and make that into a bar. Rather than cramming so many concepts into the piece. Better to have a bar about a concept rather than one liners. The fairs in, i'm out. Voted: Bane the Brain / Lizman
Posted on: 2015-11-24 14:43:20

Cool Expo @2FUEL agree, pretty spot on. Bane: You're getting there, just keep working on building set-ups to punchlines and less self hype lines that aren't aimed at your opponent in a degrading way (this is battle rap after all). Lizman: Way too many concepts man, way too many. I get them but you shouldn't have to think about them in this arena. Overall your verse was just small jabs in what could've been a 64 if you had taken the time to expand on those concepts, give them a set-up, a chance to build and they would've been great. At the same time though, weak wordplay really hurts you because it's so played out, like for example "Heat Sparks From This Son / Sun" that's an extremely basic wordplay that shouldn't be in your verse if you want to be taken seriously. Anyways, one was more direct and that's who my winner is. Fair's In. Voted: Bane the Brain / Lizman
Posted on: 2015-11-24 17:32:50

I enjoyed both here, surprisingly. Both had nice scheming. One was a bit better in that department. My loser didn't have any punches that drew my attention. My winner had his typical jammed-together concepts, and dropped a fairly good verse. Fair's in. High-Low. Voted: Bane the Brain / Lizman
Posted on: 2015-11-27 21:11:03