Only bit of expo I see my verse needing is the ending bar "Education of a greater degree" referencing my opponent's crew. GB Comment Only
Posted on: 2015-09-17 01:46:46

jay had the wordplay on lock ill give him that punches was even and overall enjoyment goes to my winner close good battle i enjoy it Voted: Mizz Ammo / JayImmortal
Posted on: 2015-09-17 20:14:05

Dope spar here, one had nice use lf multis and the other had very nice use of punches/concepts. Fairs in yo Voted: Mizz Ammo / JayImmortal
Posted on: 2015-09-17 23:20:03

fv is in Voted: Mizz Ammo / JayImmortal
Posted on: 2015-09-18 04:43:25

mizz ammo- your grammar is something you need to work on.. remember this is text, so when i see something that reads ' a rattle cats for laughs..' i think to myself.. wtf.. is a rattle cat..if your tryin to have a southern accent, then its 'ah, not 'a'... otherwise, use the proper grammer which is 'I'...... punchwise im noticing alot of attempts at concepts.. ex. your first bar you said they could find you afloat like whitneys bath.. that is very promising , the downside to it is your previous line, is irrelavent or doesnt jive with your punchline.. you talk about how you rattle cats for fun, then you jump to finding them floating.. you need to make sure your setup line is relavent to your idea thruout.. in one cohesive bar.. JAY' -the problem i have with yours is the very forced/poorly done wordplay attempts.. peek all so, does not sound at all like picasso.. nor does, dyke go/geico.. which was even worse... i like the fact your attempting complexity and wordplay, but they must be done properly otherwise it just makes you look retarded..you also need to make sure your setups are relavent to your end punch... ex.. your first line talks about if hes fresh, then you jump to gieco, then five o states ? wtf are you babbling about? lol.. keep your lines clean and readable.. make each setup to the punchline, one cohesive idea.... my winner here just a bit easier to follow, but both need alot of work.. fairs in Voted: Mizz Ammo / JayImmortal
Posted on: 2015-09-18 09:56:58