Whew! It finaly droped Barz bro fuck this Glitches...Expo a Diastole is a Part of a Cardiac cycle when the heart refills blood flowing contraction 2..The Girl who played with fire is a Trilogy ta The girl with a golden tattoo n it has David Alfredson as a Director n lena Endre(Actress)..ya'l l know about Fetty Wap he doesn't have a left eye,3.a Pharmacist Implements a Bar coded Medication for Safety... Comment Only
Posted on: 2015-05-17 09:18:16

Barz, you're still improving which is really good. Your verse was decent but could use some work when it comes to the flow of your verse. It's still a bit choppy. Same goes for you Norm. I feel you had some great ideas but the way you chose to represent them came out choppy and forced. There were better, easier ways to put some of your schemes that would have helped your verse flow smoother. But both of yall, keep battling. I definitely see improvement. Fair vote is in. Voted: Metatron / Orochi
Posted on: 2015-05-17 18:49:54

P ▲ R I S I don't get the way you Vote n what do you mean By Choppy anyway?I've read sum of your battles n you wrote same way I did n you won n I didn't see the educated voted saying the word choppy?plz explain..so mayb me n Barz won't commit the same choppy mistakes in our next battles..smh bro Comment Only
Posted on: 2015-05-18 01:47:31

Whoa, no offense guys, but this batle was really tough to read. Didn't think i was going to make it through either verse. Some pointers.. Norm, you got the right idea for your wordplay, but the way you set it up is not going to work, nor will the way you try to land it. It will be a huge negative factor in your lyricism if you keep using it that way. Example: Cry (when i be) tearing ya. Ok even if you got Cry-Tearing-ya to work what did you try to say with it? you basically said.. "you will criteria so for a drop out like you".. i completely understand you were trying to be creative when you wrote it but wordplays has to be like a double saying in a sense when you use them. *A clear double meaning. Practice writing your bars out, line-by-line. Once you get a solid bar, write out the next line.. later you will be able to keep shemes, then concpets as a whole piece or sets of pieces. Dont rush, its better if your bars are basic while you make it easy for the reader to understand what your saying, then to cram it all together and "make it work" for the reader it makes it hard, also be more direct with your punches, like instead of spitting about him, spit to destroy him like this: get LEFT WITH DEAD HERBS!, BRAINS SPLAT, HEAD GASH, BREATHE HALFED, HEADS GET SEVERED just to give you an idea.. its more direct and constant. If you need some assist let me know and i can give you pointers on how to craft improve your own style. Barz in the begining your verse seemed light but got better as i read, i liked your flow/scheme setups better as well as your use of wordplay. Your verse was more on point. I think you just got to organize your bars so they have a cleaner feel to them, seemed like i was tryna enter cheat codes while reading your verse, up, down, left, right, up, left, down, right, up, down.. Just saying it be nice if there was a constant. Same deal if you need input i dont mind helping, anyways... My winner had stronger punches. gl to both Voted: Metatron / Orochi
Posted on: 2015-05-18 03:18:34

oh ya ~send me 8, i dont discriminate. Voted: Metatron / Orochi
Posted on: 2015-05-18 03:22:19

Yudon Myst Yeh bro thanx for the Heads up n yes I Rushed this Barz wanted it ta drop ASAP n the Advice is hella long but I went through it Mind you send me 8 bars so that I can put what you Said into Practice?.. Comment Only
Posted on: 2015-05-18 10:42:45

Nice Battle Voted: Metatron / Orochi
Posted on: 2015-05-21 13:09:44