think a person** first line Comment Only
Posted on: 2015-02-10 02:04:29

Tw-ill~ your first bar's rhyme scheme was horribly off.. which caused the over all punch not to hit. then miraculessly your the first half of this bar is set up very well, starting with "want beef its on then" by the time your rhymne scheme hit "Recent Spars" It is set up to "build up Hype" Then FOLLOW THROUGH.. but instead you chose an extreemly elongated lame twist on trees and legs which have nothign in common other than the fact that they are LIMBS... which could have been at least an atempt at wordplay.. so recap.. keep building up steam like your doing in some lines but everytime.. then quick consisive punch lines.. they are ment to be snappy.. re read your fucking shit 100 times if it takes for you to notice something is severly wrong.. NirV~ First bar.. NO! do not.. EVER diss yourself Period. The whole fucking idea is to diss the other fuck.. this is not 8-mile your not going to win by dissing yourself and your opponent at the same time.. so dont. Next I sugest you read atleast 10 battles in the Tournament section from "semi finalist & Finaalist" aka the top battles from each toruny and then you should have a better idea of what your doing wrong hopfully. Voted: Untold_Truth /
Posted on: 2015-02-10 02:36:08

both did they thing i like 1 bars a bit more in this 1 fv Voted: Untold_Truth /
Posted on: 2015-02-13 02:22:56

wasnt impressed either side Voted: Untold_Truth /
Posted on: 2015-02-13 03:33:35