Expo: "Mobb Deep" is a hiphop group who release very well-known songs including one titled "Shock Ones".. I threw in a concept with "BETTER PEN" as a setup for the DEATH STICK(pencil) line written later on. However, the pen line explains how I have stacks of wins and credit from both online and offline battles and cyphers. The LEVERAGE line basically says I don't get scared by bars.. I been doing this 7 years and I know the ins and outs around here. So I say you better be a real MC meaning you better be established or I am going to murder you.. Lyrically speaking. Then comes the line where I run out of ink in the pen and switch to pencil just to add humor make it interesting and fun and help steer away from lousy boring bars. I hope you all like this battle... FAIR VOTES ONLY, I will peep voter battles. Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-06-20 03:15:57

DOPE DROP BRUH G LUCK !!!!!! Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-06-20 03:50:47

Good ba2 ,yo.. vote on mine: http://www.letsbeef. com/battle_details.p hp?id=478779§ion =tb Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-06-20 04:30:09

BLAZED- okay from what im seeing is a very simplistic verse, your first bar's structure was a bit sloppy but you toned it down to a better short style sequence, multiwise again , very simplistic 2 syllable endrymes.... my suggestion is to try and experiment with at minimum 3 syllable, get proficient at that then go from there.. as a battle verse, you focused more on yourself than your opponent for 99% of your verse, wit your last line actually acknowledging someone other than yourself... in battle verses its very important to not waste space wit self hype type stuff... all your bars should be directed at your opponent, in a clever diss or insult.... in a larger battle like a 16 or 32, its okay to drop maybe one or two selfies, but if you do, they need to be creatively done wit style... next up is your setups.... they need to be relavent, to your accompanying line... for the most part they somewhat are but because its all self hype, it doesnt really do your lines justice... now lets talk about your expo... that shit was prolly longer than your verse, whichis a huge no-no, your bars need to be self explanatory, within your setups, and as it stands, you didnt need to expo anything, so dropping a back story regarding what you wrote is pointless, and not gonna boost your lines at all... you may as well have wrote that ish in your bio on your profile page.. my advice, is to work on integrating some basic similes into your bars that damage your opponent... Voted: DjNarcotize / Savage Bangz
Posted on: 2014-06-20 04:50:07

xstorms vote deleted due to poor/retarded expo.. Voted: DjNarcotize / Savage Bangz
Posted on: 2014-06-20 04:53:32

TPS-I like the fact that your trying to be complex in your scheme work.. problem is that your droppin alot of mismatched multis,,, ex..TRIGGA-BROKEN-VE RY-QUICK and NIGGA-BE-CHOKEN-ON-B IG-HAIRY-DICK.... 7 syllables to 10 syllables..you need to keep the syllable counts consistent, otherwise your multis lose flow and potency... my suggestion is to lower your schemes down to 3 syllables, or 4 and get proficient at that before you start doin the more advanced stuff.... next is you also had the problem of no concepts or clever disses utilizing metaphors or similes... it was pretty much just an agressive tone in wording, wit basic insults that lack any real entetainment factor... my advice is to start reading up on some tuturials on how to setup bars and formulating proper punchlines .... this came down to who was in attack mode, and i felt one edged it in that category, fairs in.. Voted: DjNarcotize / Savage Bangz
Posted on: 2014-06-20 05:05:49

Thanks for the advise ill look into that !!!!! Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-06-20 05:09:17

***INTO IT*** Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-06-20 05:10:17

^^What the dude said. Voted: DjNarcotize / Savage Bangz
Posted on: 2014-06-20 12:25:58

A couple mis counts with ones syylables cost them the W, fv always Voted: DjNarcotize / Savage Bangz
Posted on: 2014-06-20 13:14:14

Fair vote ladies gb Voted: DjNarcotize / Savage Bangz
Posted on: 2014-06-20 14:57:22

Yo I really appreciated you came n vote on my battle Bruh but no disrespect I don't like it when a new guy comes n votes on my battles cause I don't want to get accused of having more then one account like as if I'm voting for myself you know so keep it G Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-06-20 15:00:43

Thank you all for the expo's. I guess in this battle I was not going for Multi-Syllables. I am very capable of spending the time to do that, however, in this battle it was not my goal. @ILLoKWENT I agree with the selfies. I need to spend more time structuring my bars with bigger and better hitting punches. I am more of a cypher person but I try to stay in the battle scene to keep me from stumbling in the future. Thank you all for the fairs! @X_Storm: Leave an expo next time, you cost me a vote because of your laziness and only looking for a vote back. Just because I say I will vote on battles that other voters have does not mean you don't have to vote properly. It also does not mean I will vote for you. I vote towards skill. Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-06-20 18:30:33

Man this was not y'all's best. Still, no hate! Voted: DjNarcotize / Savage Bangz
Posted on: 2014-06-20 19:56:56

Listen to ILLoKWENT. And read through RULEs guide to elevation n the text lounge. FVC votes in. Voted: DjNarcotize / Savage Bangz
Posted on: 2014-06-20 21:49:56

great battle this was to close for me to decide maybe after another read Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-06-22 11:19:15

Dope drop from both both did well. Fairs in. Voted: DjNarcotize / Savage Bangz
Posted on: 2014-06-22 13:14:06