One was much more consistent, and got the win based upon conceptual prowess. My loser should try to stay a tad more consistent with his multis & come a bit harder with his concepts. My winner should watch for the broken multi's in his bigger concepts as they lower the impact of them. Gb, no hate intended. Voted: Nerrson- /
Posted on: 2014-05-31 17:41:43

Haha that flip was nice.. Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-05-31 18:06:03

FVC votes in. Voted: Nerrson- /
Posted on: 2014-06-01 15:13:58

This came down to who had a much tighter grasp on integrating concepts. Nerr: I don't see much punch conversion in your lines, a lot of it is increasingly convoluted and profoundly assumptive (i.e. you're not double-checking your bars for the outside perspective). For example, the line "BRAG THAT HES REAL like a SNAKE OR AN EEL!" - aside from being tremendously forced scheme-wise, there's also no clear-cut concept there. You haven't chiseled out the referencing or supplied enough set-ups to form a punchline. You really have to be clearer and think twice with every piece of wording. The only real double entendre within your verse was the construction zones reference and that's in the same vein as a basic gunplay bar: Try to stick to that form of flipping, make sure it's clear-cut and impactful. Regardless, your scheme-work still seemed reasonably solid, flow was a tad off but structurally you still held pause and effect and maintained a decent level of readability. Nicholas: I felt all of the creativity, the main fault with your verse, however, was the clarity. The opener was fine and topically relevant, although I think in terms of contemporary Letsbeef, I've seen far too many heir concepts/wordplays recently. DMX/George Zimmerman reference was alright, if a little played way to incorporate the term "punches". Cardinal Stiffen made me giggle so plus one for comic factor. Proceeding wordplay was a little forced in terms of pronunciation (A-Gent in natural speech would be more like "ah-jent" rather than "ay-jent") Natural speech has to be accounted for in regards to wordplay also: As far as the concept, the imagery was strong and the punch hit hard due to this. Closer was perhaps a little farfetched for a majority of readers, yet still creative. Not a bad verse, I feel like you could smooth it out a bit more and always polish your wordplays and make sure that they are grammatically correct and that the natural speech element is accounted for otherwise they are deadweight. One was clearly more established, providing consistent flips, double-entendres and wordplays. The other needs to work on conversions and forming a better grasp of wordplay, jokes and double entendres. Vitty's vote's in. Voted: Nerrson- /
Posted on: 2014-06-02 23:56:06

Punches just landed cleaner. Voted: Nerrson- /
Posted on: 2014-06-03 13:37:15