*BLAST ALIKE WHEN Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-05-12 11:54:12

Not a bad spar here. Fairs in, Fuels out. Voted: SAND /
Posted on: 2014-05-12 16:27:17

Alright, I'll sum them both up quickly. WarSand, I have to be honest, I didn't like your structure. You used one scheme per punch, two multis and a reference - it's extremely basic, predictable and doesn't provide a good level of readability. Try adding longer set-ups and building up to the punches, adding in other schemes and flexing more complexity in the structure. Concepts overall were basic and overused [End of ya Rope/All on Da Line] - I saw a little bit of originality in the nail on the head concept. Readability peaked at that point. Flow was okay although overall, due to the structure, the readability and excitement factor suffered. Row: It was an alright verse, I feel you look better in a 16. Your structure was also somewhat basic, although your schemework was more interesting. Concepts in places were either forced, unclear or played: [Bieber Punished bar, Teacher's Luggage] and the cum-plaintiff wordplay was unclear and Voted: SAND /
Posted on: 2014-05-12 20:06:38

and a little basic and played. Punch in that case fell off slightly. Sunflower Seeded Coke was an original concept and I liked the scheme. Although it was an unoriginal flip on the "lines" wording. "Not as Titus" - wordplay didn't work grammatically but the concept was solid. Overall, this was down to a verse that was all the more polished and flexed a bit more complexity and creativity, thus helping the readability. Vitty's vote's in. [Accidentally pressed "Add Comment Only" on the first comment] Voted: SAND /
Posted on: 2014-05-12 20:09:42

this came down to better connections and concept usage. both were ok here. loser wasn that strong, winner had some wording probs.. but iiiiiiiight fellas, stayup. Voted: SAND /
Posted on: 2014-05-13 11:23:19

basic multies n played out punches watered out one's verse but picked up in the middle but had sum lines ended well n the other i found went light scheme work..n weak wpordplay cud have done beter but i have my winner... Voted: SAND /
Posted on: 2014-05-14 09:22:42