Ok ill be a bit harsh here. Lock,most of your schemes didn't connect properly. Like lets examine your first bar. Your setup is not related to your main punchline i.e. you talking about Monsters Inc. Also if it's not related or connected in any way,it becomes a filler which is just placed there to make it rhyme as it serves no other purpose. Also your punchline is way too corny in my opinion. I get what you were aiming at but taking random parts from one's name just to form a wordplay is mad corny. Because SULL is not a character from Monsters Inc. Sully is. Thats how the wordplay becomes forced,in terms of the context. Wording was horrible and way too basic,saying you'll get a fictional character to have him sull up has no sting and sounds mad simple. Your second bar had the same problem with the setup i.e. didnt connect and just put there to complete the rhyme. This was comparatively better than your first bar as the wording was decent. But again, BOO-ING this hecktick kid doesn't really make sense the other way. The "ing" part is making it forced cuz Boo Ing this hecktick kid doesnt make sense, unless you meant Boo IN this hecktick kid which against doesn't make complete sense. You sacrificed a lot of punch opportunities because of this scheme. The third bar was probably your best bar till now. I get the relevancy in this one but the main punchline has many faults. First one being you dont need to put quoatations around every single concept because everyone knows what an Exterminator is. By doing that you are just trying to project your bar as a complex line even though the concept is easy to grasp and understand. Second being you repeating his name. It doesn't do you much disadvantage but it creates a cloud of redundancy which can be annoying to some voters. Other than that,this was a decent bar. The next one is basic but again I appreciate the personal nameflip. The multies are a bit shaky here. Awfoo/Audi? I get the WITH and AN difference as they are also unstressed syllables. But other than that,this was a deec bar. Your next bar was average to be honest. I get the LCes scheme in this one but it looked mad forced. First one being "Going through an evolution" makes sense one way but it sounds mad gay the other way round (Evolution=Ateleron) Also the buildup of that particular setup has nothing to do with "Hear from this man again". It's like you just dropped a reference of the main punchline's scheme in the setup just to maintain the relevancy. It just didnt connect properly for me. The punchline was basic and predictable in my opinion. The punchline could have been more creative according to me. Again the multies in this bar are shaky too; HEAR FROM/LYRI? Your verse was way below average in this one,Lock. Just being honest with you. Like I said before,you wasted mad lines in doing a scheme which did you no good. You tried to keep the setups relevant to the punchline in the second half but they didnt connect properly. I even posted this in your grizzeat battle that just dropping references about the main punchline in the setup doesn't make it proper. You have to make them connect effortlessly,have smooth wording. Look at Daddio's Dinosaur/Brontosauru s scheme vs Mad Angler. He kept everything relevant from start to finish in that bar and connected everything properly. Now coming to your verse,Hecktick. Your first bar was simple,nothing special in there other than the square line. Thought I would have preferred if you had tried to work on your build up because it sounded way too basic. The next bar was a bit shaky. The cyclops didn't eat any bulls. He had a head of a Bull. So it seems you just added the word Cyclops there just to complete the rhyme scheme of that particular bar. The ACs/Hot play is mad dated. The only time your riding/on a Bike is some 1st grade shit bruh. Mad basic and doesn't even pack a punch. It's like saying "you're a bitch like a female dog". The only thing which I found to be average here was the Break n Entry/Knifing LOCKS punch eventhough the Lock play is mad old. Also when you break into a house,you dont actually knife a lock. You break it with a hammer or use the Pin technique to open it. So the concept was a bit of a reach to me. On your head like "BLACK SPOTS"? You mean Black Heads? It is mad basic,have heard the same analogy in various battles before. The caps lock was a nice concept but it was recently used by Wonderbred in the GC tourney so it takes away some impact in MY opinion. I appreciate where your head was though. This was not a horrible battle but certainly not an average battle either. Both were below average. One simply under performed here as I have seen him drop some good bars before. The other was not horrible but I just thought that his punches were a bit dated or simple. I was too harsh here btw. Fair is in. Voted: hectick /
Posted on: 2014-04-29 07:15:47

Erm. dont think we need a long expo here ;) One had a better rounded verse a bit more complez than his opponent who had some good punches but definately weaker multis. Voted: hectick /
Posted on: 2014-05-02 13:52:18

gd battle bro Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-05-02 23:02:12