lmfao damn I forgot I even sent this...I remember now, I just posted a 64 and 32, and Dean asked to send 8 at some point, so I figured wth. Gb :) Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-05-06 21:29:37

Glad you responded at least, bro! Was wondering if you would, since you asked me to send eight :P Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-05-06 21:31:46

Obvious fairs in...NOTE TO MY NON-WINNER...Don't click that you want votes on EVERYTHING if you don't bring it to the table...multi's were cool, but pretty basic...You just need to structure it the letsbeef way for people to "get it" NO HATE!!! It was a good drop. Voted: Cosmonaut /
Posted on: 2014-05-09 13:32:16

*just talkin' shit to Cosmo because I want him to send 8...* We were suppose to battle a long time ago, REMEMBER:??? Anyway, you did good, but your structure was off...Usually your drops are better bro. NO HATE Voted: Cosmonaut /
Posted on: 2014-05-09 13:33:18

It was any easy choice for me, one was on a different level conceptually and had a lot more freshness, although clearly a bit rusty. Cos: Your rhyme scheme throughout was haphazard and unimaginative. Basic level rhyming. You didn't have any sculpt to your verse and there wasn't any points of emphasis in which to endure any conceptual jabs or punches. I saw a few concepts closer to the end that began to take on the form of a jab but the lack of set-ups and the haphazard and lackadaisical way in which you structured the verse failed it from taking that form. It was a strain to read and didn't impress me. Work on creating emphasis, breaking up your structure to make it more interesting. Work also on being more consistent with executing your ideas and turning them into punches via the use of set-ups and references. Dean: It was an entertaining verse. Schemework was good throughout, although the first bar was an awkward read, considering that you incorporated a second scheme - and the emphasis was on that scheme - so when you ended up rhyming with the ABABA structure, I was a little underwhelmed when it came to the punch. It was as if it was unfinished, took away from the readability. Conceptually, however, it was solid but it wasn't a very strong concept. Executed well, nonetheless. The 'Go Ghost' punch was very nice, simple and effective. I liked the scheme used in there also. Flow was on point. Charlie Brown reference was clear but it wasn't hugely impressive. Lack of solid referencing. I felt you could have held the last scheme and incorporated another jab - keeps readability and flow consistent. Last punch - I liked the backpedal reference, it shows that you're aware of your structure. The punch on the other hand was played and a little forced. It was a lazy idea and therefore couldn't have been executed much better than that. I enjoyed reading your verse, and I don't usually enjoy reading 8s. Overall, it was good. I feel you should maintain schemes for longer periods however as it helps with readability, flow and allows you to showcase your rhyming creativity. That is what impresses me on a regular basis. Referencing was fine, the execution was fine. I think, as you become less rusty, your more original and creative ideas will come to light. This was an easy win for a more solid and established battler. Vitty's vote's in. Voted: Cosmonaut /
Posted on: 2014-05-09 22:34:52

Appreciate all the constructive criticism, it's very welcome! @Danjer: Appreciate the input (but, no I don't remember the instance from the past you speak of!). I agree with what you're saying, as it seemed accurate to me. Fair votes all around, IMHO. GB Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-05-29 11:59:58