so a hook to the face is like a punch and sandy hook was where all the kids got shot up, boston dont be tellin me references the bomb in boston that happened recently Comment Only
Posted on: 2013-08-17 16:53:30

one sided... Voted: jaycash / yelaboi
Posted on: 2013-08-17 21:20:40

Ite Voted: jaycash / yelaboi
Posted on: 2013-08-17 22:14:01

Both need more elevation , reference battles from RULE DaDDio AfterThought and other vets. Structure is important here at LetsBeef. My winner had an alright rebuttal and overall a high punchcount. Neither the winner or the loser had good punches. But my winner definitely had more. fairs in. Voted: jaycash / yelaboi
Posted on: 2013-08-17 22:48:57

Gb Voted: jaycash / yelaboi
Posted on: 2013-08-18 16:39:21

fv Voted: jaycash / yelaboi
Posted on: 2013-08-19 13:03:12

i believe both of you are new to battling, there's quite a few elements both of your verses were missing. atleast you attacked each other with some little jabs, i think you both need to read more of the site's battles to get an idea about multi rhymes, wordplay (after you master punchlines), punchlines in general & most importantly wording. i felt like some lines didn't really make sense because of poor wording (you were probably forced to do that just to rhyme) but when writing battle verses you always need to make sure the line doesnt sound weird, it needs to sound like it could be said in a normal conversation. im giving this to the verse that made slightly more damage, but this is close due to you both being at close levels. Voted: jaycash / yelaboi
Posted on: 2013-08-19 13:57:10

my winner came w/ some better polished set-ups & a smoother flow than his opponent. also, his whole verse was overall structured better which was an advantage. buttttt, the punches he was throwing were barely connecting or causing much damage to his opponent.. it just made me flow through his verse w/o running into any impact which is basically what punchlines are suppose to deliver. + the lack of multies is also an issue, mostly because it was the result of the poor execution between those bars. i liked how you tried using some concepts like the sandy hook & boston marathon but if they aren't used properly then it's just gonna be another failed attempt and a waste of space when u could of used that space to build up a better jab w/ more sting in it and, possibly getting u closer to that W. like for example, you said "i arm myself, sandy hook you in the face", that bar didn't have much creativity which just made it kind of plain, u feel me? elevation is key tho and i see some potential in you so keep improving your game. in the other side of the ring, my loser had a couple of forced wordplay which made most of his punches irrelevant. like, the "speratic/erratic" one, both of the words rhyme but dont sound the same and that alone made the whole punch go down the road. also try laying off the played punches. your lines seem to flow nicely which is a good thing but just like I told your opponent, multi is one of the first things you got to learn in order to take it to the next level and be able to structure your verse more vivid. my winner's verse wasn't very spectacular but it was just enough to top his opponent's and take the win. good luck to both of ya on progressing, fair's in. Voted: jaycash / yelaboi
Posted on: 2013-08-19 22:33:38

fv Voted: jaycash / yelaboi
Posted on: 2013-08-20 10:30:35

extremely one sided. but thats not necessarily a good thing. the loser sounded as if he WANTED to say something dope, and like if he practiced more he could throw something decent out. The winner had some very light punches. keep in mind its a battle. you can jab all day, but if you wanna win, you gotta knock a muthafucka out with a 'hard hitting' punch*Line. fair vote boys vote back. Voted: jaycash / yelaboi
Posted on: 2013-08-20 12:42:33