Crysis Hands down. jazzper that reminded me of the other day when i failed to pay any attention to punctuation, anyways i seen again 3 times (no punch's) you have potential for sure but looks like your used to the pencil and pad but i had to read through a couple times to catch your "comments" ...."" you wouldn't 'hold up in this ring' if this ROOK HAD REPLACED ATLAS (Greek Mythology, google it"" lmfao good shit Voted: Jazperrr / Babylon
Posted on: 2013-07-02 23:49:31

My choice got this with an all around better verse.. Here are some tips.. Set-ups - These are very important because they make the punch stronger... I showed you an example of what a set-up is when i was explaning the importance of punchlines... Always make sure your set-up has relevance to your multie/punch or else it will be seen as just filler... Your set-up leaves the reader wanting more and be sure to make your set-ups stand out by putting something around them such as ' ' or " " or ` ` will work just fine so that the reader knows exactly what your talking about... Do not decorate your verse either with different types of symbols like ~ or // or anything of that matter... Multies - Be sure to always provide multies that are at least 3-6 syllables cuz multies help with the flow and punch and if you dont know what a multie is then its the words that rhymes with each other when your going from line to line.. And always make sure the syllable count is exact and dont force your multies which means make sure there relevant... Take this for example again.... 'Class is in session for ya hoe', so as my belt BUCKLES SMOTHERED im RAMMING LIPS I gave her 'sex ed' and she passed the 'educational facial' with "no TROUBLE UNDER STANDING DICK".... The words that are capitalized are my multies... So the words that are capped in my 1st line rhyme with the words that are capped in my 2nd which makes them multies... Always cap your multies and also always fill in your box like i do... Also spell shit right so its an easier read... If you need anymore help or dont understand anything then pm and I'll break it down even more.. You can also check out some vets to see how to structure your verse... Try being as creative as possible... Great concepts - Talking about someones mom is old unless there is creativity involved with it but the concept is very juvenile so try speaking on things that are going on in the news or with celebrities or evening talk about a volcano but make sure you convert it into a punchline and attack the hell out of your opponent.. theres so much to rap about and saying someones mom is fat or a hoe is very basic... Metaphor s - I love metaphors.. They help with complexity if you word your shit right... The fresher the metaphor then usually the stronger your punch will be... Heres the definition of a metaphor..A figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable... Use them wisely and it'll help you with creativity... Pun chlines - Punches should always be executed strongly and in order to do so you want some strong set-ups with good concepts... Heres a bar of mine i used in the past...'Class is in session for ya hoe', so as my belt BUCKLES SMOTHERED im RAMMING LIPS I gave her 'sex ed' and she passed the 'educational facial' with "no TROUBLE UNDER STANDING DICK"... Everything inside of the ' ' has to do with class and oral favors lol so those are set-ups for my punch which is inside the " " and the use of understanding was used as wordplay cuz under standing dick means under an erect dick and understanding dick means she understands it... You wanna provide punch after punch after punch and humiliate your opponent.... Voted: Jazperrr / Babylon
Posted on: 2013-07-04 10:17:27

AH.... NOT REALLY A BATTLE AT HAND HERE..... Jaz, learn tha ropes... Cry expand ur vocab during ur set-ups. Overall.. Easy Money. THV Voted: Jazperrr / Babylon
Posted on: 2013-07-05 09:11:22