vs Guiver Styles Comment Only
Posted on: 2013-06-01 15:21:09

Good job. Voted: Jewry Kane / Guiver Styles
Posted on: 2013-06-25 20:21:44

1 Sided.. Here are some necessities to winning a text battle... Great concepts - Talking about someones mom is old unless there is creativity involved with it but the concept is very juvenile so try speaking on things that are going on in the news or with celebrities or evening talk about a volcano but make sure you convert it into a punchline and attack the hell out of your opponent.. theres so much to rap about and saying someones mom is fat or a hoe is very basic... Metaphor s - I love metaphors.. They help with complexity if you word your shit right... The fresher the metaphor then usually the stronger your punch will be... Heres the definition of a metaphor..A figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable... Use them wisely and it'll help you with creativity... Pun chlines - Punches should always be executed strongly and in order to do so you want some strong set-ups with good concepts... Heres a bar of mine i used in the past...'Class is in session for ya hoe', so as my belt BUCKLES SMOTHERED im RAMMING LIPS I gave her 'sex ed' and she passed the 'educational facial' with "no TROUBLE UNDER STANDING DICK"... Everything inside of the ' ' has to do with class and oral favors lol so those are set-ups for my punch which is inside the " " and the use of understanding was used as wordplay cuz under standing dick means under an erect dick and understanding dick means she understands it... You wanna provide punch after punch after punch and humiliate your opponent.... Word play - Also wordplay shows off creativity if done right... Usually your wordplay should always have relevance to your multie/punch... Like "sleeping bags" could be used as wordplay easily... Sleep in bags or sleeping bags but its somewhat played so try providing more advanced wordplay... This battler d.n.a used that wordplay and said some shit like "Your murder scene will resemble a camping trip the way everyone sleep in bags/sleeping bags" get it?? Wordplay is not my thing but there are different types of wordplay... I could send you more examples if you want... Set-ups - These are very important because they make the punch stronger... I showed you an example of what a set-up is when i was explaning the importance of punchlines... Always make sure your set-up has relevance to your multie/punch or else it will be seen as just filler... Your set-up leaves the reader wanting more and be sure to make your set-ups stand out by putting something around them such as ' ' or " " or ` ` will work just fine so that the reader knows exactly what your talking about... Do not decorate your verse either with different types of symbols like ~ or // or anything of that matter... Multies - Be sure to always provide multies that are at least 3-6 syllables cuz multies help with the flow and punch and if you dont know what a multie is then its the words that rhymes with each other when your going from line to line.. And always make sure the syllable count is exact and dont force your multies which means make sure there relevant... Take this for example again.... 'Class is in session for ya hoe', so as my belt BUCKLES SMOTHERED im RAMMING LIPS I gave her 'sex ed' and she passed the 'educational facial' with "no TROUBLE UNDER STANDING DICK".... The words that are capitalized are my multies... So the words that are capped in my 1st line rhyme with the words that are capped in my 2nd which makes them multies... Always cap your multies and also always fill in your box like i do... Also spell shit right so its an easier read... If you need anymore help or dont understand anything then pm and I'll break it down even more.. You can also check out some vets to see how to structure your verse... Try being as creative as possible... Voted: Jewry Kane / Guiver Styles
Posted on: 2013-06-27 11:09:58

prospek: Most of the opener was filler, and the read ver's wordplay is forced.. but the concept was nice... Verizon line was cool, could have been worded smoother for reading purposes but it kept consistancy alive... Closer was okay, didn't bring that great of a punch factor w/ the concept though. overall it was an okay verse some cool concepts but definitely needs some polishing and to clean up the filler lines, There was only 3 real punches that you built up the whole 8.... Guiver: The flow in your verse was pretty damn good, but besides that there wasn't much of anything else brought to the table. Your concepts and punches had no build up, setup, or connections to them. They also lacked originality.. I'd definitely work on trying to diss your opponent more directly... My Votes in. Voted: Jewry Kane / Guiver Styles
Posted on: 2013-06-28 12:38:32