good verse bro Comment Only
Posted on: 2013-05-13 06:05:17

nice battle you both did great. Voted: SolidGroundz / ApocGod
Posted on: 2013-05-13 07:03:58

Fv.. no hate.. amazing battle, deciding factor was the one that made me laugh a bit more. Good shit all round tho Voted: SolidGroundz / ApocGod
Posted on: 2013-05-13 08:47:20

SOLID-okay you seem to have a basic fundamental of similes, which seem abundant in your first bars... i did like that you did integrate them, tho, they didnt hit quite hard imo, your first bar, should be a setup for your second bar, which is the victor von doom jokes... simply referencing random stuf that relates to victor von doom isnt really a true setup...also too many 'likes' being used. u first have galactic pull like blackholes, which actually doesnt make sense literally.. blackholes have a gravitational pull.. and im fairly certain, you were tryin to reference GALACTUS, since he would fit the profile of the fantastic four universe.. what you need to do is find a central idea and work with setting up that idea in the first line, then continue that story into the second line or bar.. so lets say your 'concept' was victor von doom.. heres how i wouldve rewrote it.. why you fakin son,? PAC AINT YOU FAGGIT,iif you 'lookin '4 heros', stick to readin COMIC BOOK ANTICS, cause when you put on that 'gangsta face' ,its nothin more than a 'mask ur aid ' in a battle , im talkin DR. DOOM FASHION/ noticed how i begin by implying hes tryin to use 2pac, or pac in his name,(even tho its just short for apocolypse' but it acts as a direct personal, instead of throwing random stuff that could be aimed at anyone.. then i build on the comics aspect, implyin he's really a nerd tryin to find heros to be his role model..then i end it by continuing my allegation that hes puts up a fake gangsta front, with wordplay that both works in context to the original sentence and the flip/ or punch.. dr. doom uses his 'mask to aid him in battles, hence mask ,your aid.. etc.. anyway try to work on your setups to be relavent in a better way.. multis were basic... its inconsistent, you got 2 syllables, then i drops to one, then back to two, but using the same endword which is really bad tbh... which shows a lack of vocabulary and creativity.. try to work on things like that to help you improve.... Voted: SolidGroundz / ApocGod
Posted on: 2013-05-14 04:33:40

APOC- you been in the game long enough, so ima keep this short,first bar wit the ninja turtles is really played fam... try to stay away from those type of similes, next concept lego staion, setup was irrelavent, and very wordy in the next line... the thing that sorta saves you a bit was your use of concepts which again lose steam becaue of your lack of relavent setups.. how is toilet paper gang, and him kissing your ass have to do with anything.. or relate in any way.. olympic torch metaphor works but preceded by filler... weak effort tbh..my winner here slightly gets the nod for more consistency in multis and use of concepts... Voted: SolidGroundz / ApocGod
Posted on: 2013-05-14 04:42:38

thanks for tha tips Illo.. well noted and ur rendition of my first lines is hella dope Comment Only
Posted on: 2013-05-14 06:32:43

Decent battle here. Solid, I liked the attempt you made in that conceptual scheme with the fantastic four but there was no closure and the lines and wordplay weren't fully established and developed. Some of your multies were broken but that'll get better as you practice. Nice foundation though. AG- You started off with one of the most played concepts in LB history, the spin was a bit unique but the base concept was pretty generic. Decent though, you kept a decent scheme however the flow was a bit choppy and awkward at times. That last line was probably the best punch of the battle, however I would've saved it and used it in another battle and worked on setups on relation to that concept Makin it alot more potent. Overall my winner just was able to better integrate his concepts and lines as well kept a fairly complex rhyme scheme consistently. Fairs in. Keep elevating. Pm for further expos or advice. Voted: SolidGroundz / ApocGod
Posted on: 2013-05-14 10:20:25