Good battle, the fairs are dropped. Voted: Snoopy316 / SA_ANZ
Posted on: 2013-04-19 23:41:06

good battle felt ones flow betta..fv vb no hate Voted: Snoopy316 / SA_ANZ
Posted on: 2013-04-20 12:38:04

happy 4/20...send 8 saanz..need some lunch Voted: Snoopy316 / SA_ANZ
Posted on: 2013-04-20 12:38:44

Ight let's do this break down ..... Snoopy ... Bar1 ... No real punch inter multies are cool if there's a punch at the end nothing hitting here for me 5/10 poor opener ... Bar2 ... This was ight nothing wow 6/10 ... Bar3 ... Ok I get the reference to using bolt etc ... But what reference does that have to the build up using bolt aint a killer 6/10 ... Bar4 ...closer was ight nothing blow away 6/10 .... Overall 6/10 ....... Saanz .... Ok I see you haven't broke yours into Barz and have sort of gone with the free for all approach I like the personal approach but to beat a dude with structure and consistent punches you either need to punch on every multi you drop or you need to get yaself a structure to enable you to format punches with build ups ya shit is elevating I been watching ya battles ... Keep upping ya game .... FV as always VBF .:X:. Voted: Snoopy316 / SA_ANZ
Posted on: 2013-04-20 18:42:41

Alot of aspects of this battle that could've gone better. Snoop- One, I liked your varied multi scheme, the in-rhyming it shows versatility and if done right can really augment execution. However, if you're going to do it, separate your In-rhyming from your main scheme. Write-them-like-this and start typing-right-bitch (lol). See how it works. Instead of capitalizing them so your audience can make a sharp distinction and there aren't those mental speed bumps that affect readability. Two, your other weak area was metaphors in relation to punches. For one, you need to start to utilizing setups in order to further enhance your punches. If you want tips in how to do that just ask me. But you had alot of you/I ______ LIKE_______! The repetitive use of that word like in short periods of time generally indicates the lack of setups because your not building up your punch your just jabbin real quick, an that's what separates jabs from punches. And even the jabs you had some of the wording was off, for example (I cut your throat so fast you'd think i was Usain Bolt) or even the Bush line. I see the correlation between fast and Usain but the thing as far as we know Usain doesn't cut throats so if you are going to approach a jab like make sure that your metaphor is as explicit an covers as much of the comparison as possible if not all. Speakin of wording your multies were a bit stretched (ie. Write shit cypher. Obviouse like bread is dough) make sure your words sound natural like a conversation, te second one with the bread was just a line that I thought was pretty whack, that was just a random filler that didn't really tie to anything surrounding it. SaanZ- first off you had a monosyllabic rhyme scheme. Only capitalize the words that rhyme, you were capitalizing random words that didn't fit the multi and in actuality only one word was rhyming usually and if it was more than one it was an accident. Make sure multies are consecutively 3-5 syllables long. Alot of your verse was just filler, you didn't have any real punches, you had alot of concepts that were completely underdeveloped and you didn't do anything to really polish the execution. Multies and conceptuality were your two weaknesses here. Also your formatting was pretty bad. You should do commas after every two lines and then a (/) at the end of a rhyme scheme. Just keep those things in mind. Overall, one just actually made an attempt at conceptual punches, while the other was just a margin above cyphering. Any questions pm me. Fairs in. Voted: Snoopy316 / SA_ANZ
Posted on: 2013-04-21 08:37:34

Was a landslide battle tbh. One took a nicer approach by actually incorporating punchlines into his bars and that's what took this battle. Other had some decent personals but next to no punchlines. Just need to have personals that turn into punchlines in order for it to be effective. Fairs in Voted: Snoopy316 / SA_ANZ
Posted on: 2013-04-21 19:04:03

really poor battle on both sides.. setups were almost nonexistant.. forced similes on one side. other mentioned his opponents name then related them in his disses very basically.. smh.. came down to who threw actual concept flips.. and one slightly edges this category...fairs in Voted: Snoopy316 / SA_ANZ
Posted on: 2013-04-22 00:10:14