Ghost, you had only one rhyme scheme I liked, poor structure and not one punchline in the entire verse. Also you lacked wordplay and you had one or two examples of an okay flow. You should try to write like your CLAIM TO BE/CAME OT SEE/AIM AT ME/ style more, and capatilize that too for an easier read. You could have also made that bar longer by incorporating rhymes like this INSANELY WEAK/BANG YOUR NIECE (lol)/AIM THE PIECE/etc. other than that one scheme it was a very basic verse, in the future start using Punchlines,wordplay, more complex schemes and more complex rhymes with multi's if you need help learning those please PM me. Boycott, you had pretty basic rhymes too but they were good in places, your TREAT IT LIKE A CYPHER/READ IT LIKE THE BIBLE line showed you have the capacity to write complex rhymes which is a good sign, but it fell short for the repeat of "it" and "like" plus Cypher/bible are not really rhymes, but it worked. I like your BEHEAD THE CRITICS and SHRED YOUR IMAGE like that was good, but it fell short with the punch at the end being irrelevant with the rest of it. you attempted wordplay but it fell short as well, and your punhes lacked also if you need help learning anything please feel free to PM me, this was a pretty low to average battle but I have my winner nonetheless. Voted: Ghost612 / boycott
Posted on: 2013-03-26 16:39:01

goodjob winner Voted: Ghost612 / boycott
Posted on: 2013-03-27 00:00:21

crysis said it all Voted: Ghost612 / boycott
Posted on: 2013-03-31 11:23:13

FV Voted: Ghost612 / boycott
Posted on: 2013-03-31 12:41:35