EXPO: warner bro's mascot was the frog that used to say 'welcome to the W.B.' victorious is a nickelodeon tv show and the main character is tory Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-10-16 10:12:12

Broz, first thing that stood out to me in your opening bar was the mismatched multies. You rhymed DRAFT OF DA NBA (6 syllables) with CRAFT WHEN DEM K's SRAY (5 syllables). The only thing that rhymed between those two were the first and last syllables. When you're rhyming multi-syllables, you want to make sure the syllable count for the whole scheme is consistent and you also want to make sure that all stressed syllables are accounted for. I also felt you used quotation marks unnecessarily at times. The 'a ring nah/arena' wordplay was forced. Overall, you get props for having multies and throwing metaphors and wordplay in there to give it more complexity...but those things need to be polished a little bit. Ray Barz, I wasn't feeling a lot of your punches. 'Sonned nationally/being sent to Maury' didn't really hit for me. 'wouldn't be 'victorious' doing GIGS WITH TORY' needed the expo, cause I had honestly never heard of the Nickelodeon show. The 'warn ya broz/warner bros' wordplay was kinda forced, the reference was a bit obscure and it didn't produce an overall great punch. In the rest of the verse, you picked up the flow a little bit, but there were no standout concepts or punches. Overall, I felt Ray Barz brought more varied concepts, whereas Broz was more linear with the gunplay. It was a very close match and both had certain things going for them. After weighing each bar though, I got a winner by a slight edge. Fairs. Voted: Don Da OpTiC / Ray BaRz™
Posted on: 2012-10-16 12:47:04

My choice had the stronger delivery and attempted wordplay thrown here and there. Although they were forced this emcee gets points for at least trying to throw some wordplay in his verse. His flow was better, also. The other needs to work on his flow and consistency, although he threw some punches here and there and had an okay concept...I just wasn't feelin' it yo. FVC Approved. Voted: Don Da OpTiC / Ray BaRz™
Posted on: 2012-10-16 13:08:03

Broz, ur multis were all over the place, there were points where i didnt even understand what u were trying to say. the little punches that were there were very weak and the delivery was poor. i think u shud take some time to check out battles from more experienced members. ray had the overall better verse but it was hellaaaa forced, u attempted some wordplay which paid off at times and really messed up at others. a bit hit n miss with the punches . hmmm... votes in.. Voted: Don Da OpTiC / Ray BaRz™
Posted on: 2012-10-17 06:58:15

one threw in alot of forced wordplay, some decent borderline played concepts.. schemewise, was pretty basic.. other had consistent concept to punches, although some wordplay was forced as well.. advice to both.. dont try to throw puns/wordplay where the words used sound similar but doesnt really read out as the actual word.. ex..a'ring'nah? if you spat that ish in a live battle.. that dont sound anything like arena.. anyway fairs in Voted: Don Da OpTiC / Ray BaRz™
Posted on: 2012-10-18 02:40:00