i'll get at this asap. Comment Only
Posted on: 2009-07-13 13:59:49

RINGLEADERZ Comment Only
Posted on: 2009-07-13 16:44:40

Good battle Bro. No Disrespect if u are from Jerusalem By the Way. Respect. Comment Only
Posted on: 2009-07-13 17:11:21

structure is very important..emphasis on punches helps...one had multies on lock..the other had the punches..punches win the batles...still..both were nice to read..i jus cant go wit flow/multies ver punches/structure..p eace. yall 8s Voted: A Certain Swag / Boyka
Posted on: 2009-07-14 10:47:40

gb fellas return the fair Voted: A Certain Swag / Boyka
Posted on: 2009-07-14 12:12:27

no hate, but chronic punch u force ur shit, badly Voted: A Certain Swag / Boyka
Posted on: 2009-07-14 13:45:56

Alright fam-damilies, this is how I do it. LX: "Im about to Rip this 'Hooligan', bring out the 'Fool-In-Him', Reppin 'Jerusalem'? This aint the 'Bible' son, its LB n ill leev u 'Stifled' son, Clutchin my 'Rifle' i know its 'Reliable', Fuck Armour i Peirce It, Like ya 'Notrsil', Fuckin Bitch u like it Touchin ya 'Tonsils'" - you need to work on the complexity of your rhyme scheme by incorporating more/better multis into your verse. You also need to work on making direct, focused disses/punches at your opponent and setting them up with quality metaphors, wordplay, and similies. I can help you out with that if you'd like. Just send me a pm. "ill Leev this man 'Deflated' n 'DeHydrated', Like mouldy Fruit thats 'Out-of-Date', Wishin he'd rather be 'Cremated',,, Bounce ya head off the Floor like 'Hail-Stone', leev u Crushed like 'Frail-Bone'," - this part was much better because you used solid imagery which is a form of punch. "Say u got Lines? i leev u 'DeRailed' like a 'Train', He not gonna live knowin he 'Failed Again', Coz im ur Teacher n I got 'Bad News', Leev u Red like 'Empty-Fuel', u better 'Respect-me-Dude', u want a battle u shudnt av 'Tempt-me-Fool', U 'Envy-my-Tools', Pull out the AK n put an 'End-to-You' 'quick', wanna Hate but please Get off my 'Dick'." - you actually had some decent multis going here but then you fell off at the end. Still need to work on your punches though bro. Chronic: "You ROOL WITH THE FAG CLIQUES and SHOW WITH WACK SCRIPTS Punch leave ya BLOW WITH ABS HITS And smack his BONES AND BACK WRISTS!" - some nice imagery here but not completely sensible either. What are "back wrists"?? Always maintain sensibility. Great multis though. "Making 'bullets' GO INTO CRASH RIBS! I'mma set this virgin 'pussy' Too see like VIRGINS ATLANTIC Cuz he couldn't tapas/tap ass If you Where SERVING IN SPANISH!" - haha, this was a solid punch with good humor value. I dig it. "LB see chronic POP NINES YA LEAK BLOOD And ya rhymes? you DROP LINES WITH PEAK LUCK 'Watch Punch' server this pussy Cuz i PLOT RHYMES TO EAT FUCKS!!" - nice multis again but the punch was a bit lacking. "I'm king like i'm DARK WHEN I PULL BACK! You hard? I'mma eating ya BARS FOR LUNCHES I'm HARD WITH PUNCHES like MARKSMAN AT POINT BLACK!" - punch was again kinda lacking but the multis were pretty decent. "My big ego isn't worth concealing I BARELY TRY BUT MERK HIS WRITTENS! He couldn't even 'hurt my feelings' if he PARALYZED MY NERVOUS SYSTEM!!!" - I've seen this used before recently...either by you or somebody else. Can't remember right now so I'm not going to make an accusation. This was still a hot punch though and one of my favorites of the battle. "LMAO I'm gonna tell ya how DUMB THIS BITCH IS ! Having your body DUCK WHEN CLIPS HITS!!" - na, kind of a weak closer. Gotta finish strong homie. Still, you got this one with relative ease. Respect it. Voted: A Certain Swag / Boyka
Posted on: 2009-07-14 13:53:16

lol @ dat comment u made on mah page fukk u n burn n hell faggot.........buht vbf first lol Voted: A Certain Swag / Boyka
Posted on: 2009-07-14 17:16:41

One flowed better, had better concepts, was an overall decent verse.the other needs to work on structure first, then some idea's. Voted: A Certain Swag / Boyka
Posted on: 2009-07-15 12:39:54