MC JESUS vs MahVulus - Text Rap Battle - Battle Rap and Rap Battles at LetsBeef.com


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Text Ranked Battle
Length: 32 Lines

MC JESUS (36%)

Basic Member

Ranked #-- This Season

Reppin: Bethlehem, Yerushalayim (Jerusalem), Israel

MahVulus (64%) WINNER

Hall Of Famer

Ranked #-- This Season

Crew: I AM GOD

Reppin: District Heights, Maryland, United States

MC JESUS

Chuh.. I�m CANCER-SICK DOE. I HANDLES BIG DOUGH, and I�ll ACE YA FAM�LY. 
You sweet and fruity as FRESA CANDY. My STANZAS QUID-PRO-quo, call me GRAMPA NIK�RO cause I �RAISED YA ANTE!!�/ boP! man you even HANDLED SHOTTYs, JERK? 
Nah, lookatcha! FeMALE-ISH POSIN while you STAND WITH LOTSA GIRLS LAUGHIN, 
GOSSIP SMELLIN LOTION at BATH AND BODY WORKS!!/ 
Fruity fuck! Lookatcha! Nohomo but Shawty HOW�D YOU GET IN THEM JEANS?? Haha in womens sizes HE�S AN 8 but ROCKs A 3, and I bet it� either �D-IN-A� or SWALLOWED SKEET HOW HE�S GETTING THEM GENES!!/hahahahathere gon be LEAD SPITTING and TECH HOLDING, cus Jesus POP THANGS. 
you must be NOT SANE if you wanna flex I got �HEADS SPINNIN� and �HEADS ROLLIN� 
like �DROPPED CHANGE!!�//fuck it, De ACT LIKE HE HARD AS �HIM� but  but he ACTUALLY SOFTER DEN� 
a PACKAGE DAT COTTON�S IN! and since you ACTIN ALL AWKWARD THEN? I�ll HANDLE THAT HAMMER that�ll �HANDICAP SWAGGER� like Ali AFTER THEN PARKINSON�s!!!// 
JesuChristo, blazing pistols, giving amazing dick to ya MAIN SQUEEZE. then FIND TRIGGERS, MIGHT PULL IT and ICICLE SIZED BULLETS will FLY INTO GUYS MULLETS and give em BRAIN FREEZE!// 
y'all cayn't FREE, but J-Sus TOUGHER THAN EVER my �brainstorm� got you feelin �UNDER THE WEATHER� so I gave you a MONTH TO GET BETTER.. but you still wack so you get BUCKED WIT BARETTAS. 
Thought he�s �Fly?� I�m PLUCKIN HIS FEATHERS 
and my gat �Light-in� Fam�s Mouth� like his UNCLE WAS FESTER!!!// FUCK IT IM BETTA, 
dats why I'm TOTIN GLOCKs that BLAST AT FAKES and CRACK YA FACE like a BROKENWATCH// yu couldn't HOPE TO DROP with the DOPEST, HOP even if u ghost-WROTE FOR PAC I'll still have you open like doors with BROKEN LOCKS on a HOPELESS BLOCK//so who da nex CHALLENGER, I'll CANCEL YA don't TRUST A FELON cuz I gat �HAMMERS TA BUS YA MELON� like GALLAGER!!!//you don't know what my PASSION IS LIKE, when I'm GRABBING THE MIC or flippin my fuckin wig and you get CLAPPED IN THE NIGHT, like the roles reverse in the PASSION OF CHRIST how I'm HAVING YOU LIKE!//when y'all see Jesus' rollin, y'all like "here COMES TROUBLE,� with PUMPS n scopes the size of SOME HUBBLES. sucka afta I BREAK YO LAST RIB watch how my gunz TAKE THESE "ACTORS" and MAKE EM BACKFLIP 
like STUNT DOUBLES//I turn the Rock Solid into SOME RUBBLE, SUCKAS TRIPPIN so I STUCK A CLIP IN and BUCKED A MINUTE, and Y'ALL FOOLS beating Jesus is "impossible" like TOM CRUISE 
on a FUCKIN MISSION!//you think my GATS WILL COME CLEAN? nah, dawg, them MACS IS UNCLEAN! 
I SHOOT A COUPLE ROUNDS n u SHOoT UP THRU dA CLOUDS like BACKWARDS SUNBEAMS// y�all not RAW AS ME when I�m �ON THE TREES� like an AUTUMN BREEZE! So FOLLOW ME ...ALONG MY SONG PATTERNs and know if you SAW A HOT �SWAGGER� it BELONGED TO ME!! You sent to HEAVAN WITH YA BITCH TALK. I�m teaching, and AFTER LESSONS y�all see �SWAGGER STEPPIN� LIKE THE CRIP WALK!!/

MahVulus

so this RECORDS ABOUT your SECOND ACCOUNT lookin at MY JEANS????? {Eww dawg}
your QUITE SWEET. like dates that SIGHT SEE off MOUNT EVEREST, CLOUD WEATHER from HIGH PEAKS/ 
I'ont LIKE GEEKS on DICK BAMMER, so FIND DE has QUICK MANNERS when finger "Waves" an NINE "SPEAKS!"/ that ri'DIC GRAMMAR bout you'll BLIND ME with HIGH BEAMS??? 
Is useless pimpin. Like crucifiction you GUYS SEE "Jesus can GET HAMMER'D" like CHRIST FEET!!/ 
IIGHT BEECH!?!? "Shoot Jesus" like BIG CAMERA'S you MIGHT SEE from director SPIKE LEE!!!
{He got game}/ but I DIRECT OR SAY "SHOOT" i'll "scope 'em out" like I.N.S FOR JE'SUS!/ 
Niggaz'll know it's really pronouced...HAY'SEUS. so ya'll gon see my FIF' BUCKLE'N while dis 
SPIC SMUGGLE'N GRAPEFRUITS!/ it's gon BE DRASTIC cuz my SWING AVERAGE BABE RUTH!! 
So when i SWING PAST IT his jaw out PLAY TOO/ I'm Hard Liquor. This SMALL NIGGA is 8 PROOF!! 
an no PROBLEM AT ALL/ I'ont FAKE EITHER i DRANK ETHER 'case da DRAMA EVOLVE/ I'll knock him, 
simon da GAY ZEALOT, and SAINT PETER'S got-damn YAMAKAZ OFF!!!!/ NUCCA I'M GOD. heard you need a MIRACLE QUICK? So BARRELS'LL SPIT...turn CAUCASIANS to WHITE DRESSING, 
not at ALL SAVINGS or LIKE BLESSINGS when i gave dawg a SPIRITUAL LIFT!/ I'll "bite" thru Bibles, Prayers, PARABLES, SCRIPTS. But i'ont mean yo GOSPELS I'M COPYIN/ Matta' fact FUCK CHEWIN! 
like HOSTEL'S SLOVAHKIAN....i'll CUT HUMANS!!!/ I thought he was gon BUCK TOO WHEN he said i better say PRAYERS FOR FELLOWS. Said he had da "PUMPS" COOLIN....but then this Jesus 
pulled out one PAIR A STILETTOS???? (I thought Jesus only WORE SLIPPERZ?) Jesus only 
"shot down fours" when he met FOUR NIGGERS that's POOR SINNERS (sent 'em to hell)/ I heard yo left your WHORE BITTER, But if she saw this DICK ON MY BODY? Dat PIDGEON'LL PROLLY have her legs DIVORCED QUICKER den WHITNEY AN BOBBY/ usually OF COURSE DINNER is CHECKIN AN BROCCOLI 
but today i'mma eat his VERSE INSTEAD/ Jesus da type to ALERT DA FEDS cuz THIS COON is soft as da MUSHROOMS dat da SMURFS WAS BRED/ Wigs "get pushed" like PUSH BROOMS when STUFF BOOMS at this PERSONS HEAD!/but this time when this JERK IS DEAD? they'll be NO RESSURECTION. 
TOOL'S FLY he'll "LOSE YOUR MIND" like NO RECOLLECTION!!/ 12 apostles? you DUDES IS LIKE da WHOLE EVANESCENCE {da rock group} cuz made fresh niggas BACKIN UP VAGINA (all dudes,1 bitch)/ 
they gon need da whole CATH'LIC CHUCH to FIND YA after dat MAG BUST INSIDE 'EM/ 
if hope you HAVE A BUNCH A BIBLES. cuz you gon need WEAPONS an "VERSES"/ 
get WRECKLESS an NERVOUS? tools smokin body get "pulled open" like i'm MESSIN with CURTAINS/ 
he actin like he SO BOLD or HOLD CHROME WESSON an SQUIRTIN/ but only reason 
"Jesus STONE COLD" cuz my Jacob da Jewler made sure my NECKLACE was PERFECT!!!/ .... now let me go say 10 hail marys lol

Vote on this Battle

Battle started: April 18^th 2008 at 16:24
Challenger joined: April 20^th 2008 at 11:42

Voting has ended for this battle (battle finished on 2008-04-20 11:42:05).

Staff Comments

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Member Comments

MC JESUS Basic Member	HahahahaHAAAA you gon get at me FAM? Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-18 16:26:30
MahVulus <CALLMEGOD> Hall Of Famer	Lmao... Felt bad as shit da whole verse. But amigos i got like 6 battles open. Check doe's out... Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-20 11:55:20
Multiple Madness <IncredMad>	Uhooooh... This is fuckin Ill people!! Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-20 14:08:40
Liquid_Theories Basic Member	RAISED YA ANTE!!�/ Brixx belveder Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-20 15:40:14
DaDDiO <DGAF> Hall Of Famer Grand Champion	Battle of the Titans Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-20 16:47:50
Colomn~Bind Basic Member	damn dat was alot ta read...had to read 1 den take a brake den come back n read da other haha..but hot shit was else can i say but fv vb Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-20 17:46:16
CronoT Basic Member	pb Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 09:22:15
CronoT Basic Member	Co-sign MM, with the "this is ILL" statement. Get it? Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 09:23:00
Shelllz Exclusive Member	God Dammitt!! Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 13:30:23
Illimit <MFD.> Hall Of Famer Grand Champion Live Battler	hahaha WOW this is fucking hot. no hotlist yet??? many props. Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-21 13:51:28
DBZ CCG Basic Member	bows I'm not worthy... I'm not worthy... Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 14:05:22
MahVulus <CALLMEGOD> Hall Of Famer	Got another battle open too... Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-21 14:58:29
Ill Kid Basic Member	I gave ya'll 10's..can I go to heaven?lol Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 15:08:56
The Wolf <Grilled> Basic Member	Nice battle. Droppin tha fair one. Return tha fairness. Holla! Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 15:15:03
bonafide jedi Basic Member	o Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 15:18:44
Multiple Madness <IncredMad>	It is so ill.. But who is Crono? Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-21 15:24:46
Illimit <MFD.> Hall Of Famer Grand Champion Live Battler	^^ULTIMEGOS^^ Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-21 15:26:23
Illimit <MFD.> Hall Of Famer Grand Champion Live Battler	"boP! man you even HANDLED SHOTTYs, JERK? Nah, lookatcha! FeMALE-ISH POSIN while you STAND WITH LOTSA GIRLS LAUGHIN, GOSSIP SMELLIN LOTION at BATH AND BODY WORKS!!/ " "gave dawg a SPIRITUAL LIFT!/ I'll "bite" thru Bibles, Prayers, PARABLES, SCRIPTS. But i'ont mean yo GOSPELS I'M COPYIN/ Matta' fact FUCK CHEWIN! like HOSTEL'S SLOVAHKIAN....i'll CUT HUMANS!!!/ " "HOLY" shit Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-21 15:29:04
Illimit <MFD.> Hall Of Famer Grand Champion Live Battler	"HOSTEL SLOVAKIAN" hahahaha Christ! Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-21 15:29:33
CHRISO MAKARTO Basic Member	the fuckin vote with a real asshole obvius Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 15:36:37
MahVulus <CALLMEGOD> Hall Of Famer	Dat bath an body works line had me rollin... Dats a sass dawg lol.. An that sunbeams line??? Creeed.... wow Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-21 16:00:41
MahVulus <CALLMEGOD> Hall Of Famer	Damn 9-2 doe??? Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-21 16:01:23
PrOFeKt Basic Member	""I SHOOT A COUPLE ROUNDS n u SHOoT UP THRU dA CLOUDS like BACKWARDS SUNBEAMS//"" RAW SHYT Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 16:05:06
Big W Rims Basic Member	i'm tierd of reading this shit Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 17:20:07
NawkOut	Chea! Some Crack.. one broken multi decided this, hahaha, i ain't even playin'.. Close call, De's verse would of won 99% of the time, ironic huh, MC Jesus vs The Self proclaimed God, Don't argue nigga it is a title u started, lol.... 10z Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 17:25:17
CounterPunch <IncredMad> Exclusive Member	I heard yo left your WHORE BITTER, But if she saw this DICK ON MY BODY? Dat PIDGEON'LL PROLLY have her legs DIVORCED QUICKER den WHITNEY AN BOBBY/ usually OF COURSE DINNER is CHECKIN AN BROCCOLI but today i'mma eat his VERSE INSTEAD/ Jesus da type to ALERT DA FEDS cuz THIS COON is soft as da MUSHROOMS dat da SMURFS WAS BRED/ Wigs "get pushed" like PUSH BROOMS when STUFF BOOMS at this PERSONS HEAD!/but this time when this JERK IS DEAD? they'll be NO RESSURECTION. then FIND TRIGGERS, MIGHT PULL IT and ICICLE SIZED BULLETS will FLY INTO GUYS MULLETS and give em BRAIN FREEZE!// y'all cayn't FREE, but J-Sus TOUGHER THAN EVER my �brainstorm� got you feelin �UNDER THE WEATHER� so I gave you a MONTH TO GET BETTER.. but you still wack so you get BUCKED WIT BARETTAS. Thought he�s �Fly?� I�m PLUCKIN HIS FEATHERS and my gat �Light-in� Fam�s Mouth� like his UNCLE WAS FESTER!!!// FUCK IT IM BETTA, dats why I'm TOTIN GLOCKs that BLAST AT FAKES and CRACK YA FACE like a BROKENWATCH// yu couldn't HOPE TO DROP with the DOPEST, HOP even if u ghost-WROTE FOR PAC I'll still have you open like doors with BROKEN LOCKS on a HOPELESS BLOCK//so who da nex CHALLENGER, I'll CANCEL YA don't TRUST A FELON cuz I gat �HAMMERS TA BUS YA MELON� like GALLAGER!!!// WOO WAAAWEEWAAAA!!!!!!!! !!!! Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-21 17:48:54
HeliO	this is that FIRE !! cough ..cough!! HERE..PASS THAT SHIT MY WAY! Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 18:46:04
~COLD DRO~ Basic Member	VB Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 19:36:16
jAYONE Basic Member	one of the best battles on ive seen wicked close.....vb Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 19:49:07
JihadProduction <TBH> Exclusive Member	whoever votes is biased, no way u can decide that Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-21 20:16:23
Joey Krack Exclusive Member	Swagg vs Swagger Whoa! Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 20:32:53
Drunk-N-Munky Basic Member	Swag killed this shit. who the fuck is illimit? for that matter, who in swags name is chizzle? Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 22:20:29
j-daddy Basic Member	l Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-21 23:24:52
dlinkwent <DA TRUTH> Basic Member	gb fv dat waz some good shit killas Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 00:32:54
Mani Mula Live Battler	WOW....Jesus...liter aly...Jesus won Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 05:21:37
mafia 619 <ThaTop> Basic Member	fair Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 09:14:24
Stona Basic Member	Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 09:39:50
Stona Basic Member	Lesson here: Don't go up against ya father. He made you, he'll break you. Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 09:43:25
No English Basic Member	no match.... Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 10:44:53
MC JESUS Basic Member	yoe, what, like, four, five OMEGAS on this one?? Hol'atcha Prophet. Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-22 11:32:32
MC JESUS Basic Member	where them MODS at?? get that 2 the fuck out. Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-22 11:33:34
Irrepressible Basic Member	Good fucking battle, fv Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 11:38:56
Irrepressible Basic Member	meant ta pu 9-8 lol Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 11:39:19
Younglyrics617 Basic Member	maaaddd hot fv no h8 jesus got it tho vb Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 11:40:36
DOWORK Basic Member	hh Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 12:38:30
mc money maker Basic Member	it a tie Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 13:15:25
hoodlumkid Basic Member	on da real high like always but aint real shit dropping dawg just yaping kno realism ya dig Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 16:39:57
Big Bankz Basic Member	fv... Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 17:09:26
SpleNDiD <POPs> Grand Champion	fv Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 18:39:33
beast4 Basic Member	yea Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 20:02:22
DaDDiO <DGAF> Hall Of Famer Grand Champion	whoa! tuff judges huh???? ... buncha Simon Cowells votin on this one ... Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-22 20:16:14
Liquid_Theories Basic Member	bg Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 20:49:53
Liquid_Theories Basic Member	gb Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 20:50:08
MahVulus <CALLMEGOD> Hall Of Famer	Right @ Daddio... Niggaz throwin 3's.. 2's.. 1's??? Guess we juss straight gobbage... No pleasin dis crowd... Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-22 21:00:53
Liquid_Theories Basic Member	ahhah i should give a detailed vote instead of that Gb....i might later Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 21:51:47
belanger69 Basic Member	wow you guys are gay call me my name is phil belanger 207-431-4979 for a good battle Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-22 22:31:09
thepremeone Basic Member	jesus what a blasphemous rap name and that verse was so gay you even had to say no homo damn dawg Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 23:06:55
thepremeone Basic Member	LOSE YOUR MIND" like NO RECOLLECTION!! Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-22 23:11:30
vaccine Basic Member	to much rasist comment 4 me in the second verse, not saying you racist in anyway, just saying ya reference to a spic doesnt fly by me, im half rican and dont feel that! Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-23 01:26:01
aztech Basic Member	ill Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-23 01:37:09
Mr SoUr DieSeL Basic Member	I�ll HANDLE THAT HAMMER that�ll �HANDICAP SWAGGER� like Ali AFTER THEN PARKINSON�s!!!// Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-23 07:34:39
tekneeqz Basic Member	dam yall... hah.......... did someone leave dey number lmao.... MFDz Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-23 07:59:46
jestaman Basic Member	good one.. stay high stay fly Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-23 09:21:11
DJ-Threat Basic Member	HOT SHIT YO NEED MO LINES HOMIES Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-23 10:13:40
s0vrenX Basic Member	good stuff no h8 Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-23 11:12:28
s0vrenX Basic Member	vote Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-23 11:13:12
rockman <Murda1U> Basic Member	hot drop send beef pussy Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-23 11:25:03
MWong Basic Member	Voted: MC JESUS / MahVulus Posted on: 2008-04-23 11:36:15
GLOXX <ThaTop> Basic Member	PROPER STILL Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-23 11:37:13
GLOXX <ThaTop> Basic Member	,,, Comment Only Posted on: 2008-04-23 11:38:00


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